


Mine

by AuroraNoirInStardust



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben has a dirty mouth, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Error 404: Slow Burn Not Found, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond Shenanigans, Let’s assume TROS never happened, Light Angst, Light Bondage, Loss of Virginity, Not so virgin Ben, Oral Sex, Shower Sex, Soulmates, The Force Ships It, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), ben and rey both need hugs, domestic reylo, empress rey?, inappropriate use of force healing, mention of past sexual abuse but it's not what you may be thinking, mine kink, now canon divergent, roleplaying, seriously there is just sex right off the bat, small mention of virginal blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2020-10-13 03:40:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20575859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraNoirInStardust/pseuds/AuroraNoirInStardust
Summary: It has been months since Rey has seen Ben... Kylo... whoever he is now. Months since she turned down his offer to join him. Months since she slammed their bond shut in his hopeful face.But even with the bond firmly bolted closed, she still feels him. She senses him. And worst of all, she misses him.But that which the Force wills will always find a way. One night, she wakes to find herself in the bed of Kylo Ren, their bond having connected in sleep. Feelings and passions come to a head and events are set in motion that will shape their futures, and perhaps the galaxy’s, for better or worse.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was meant to be a fluffy, smutty one-shot and before I knew it, it grew a plot and ran away from me. 
> 
> However, I will say that the plot of this will be fairly light: domestic fluff and smut with just a little bit of angst and conflict. My very first multi-chapter baby is born!
> 
> And speaking of that, you probably have seen the "Unplanned Pregnancy" tag. I know pregnancy can be a triggering topic for some. But it's a theme I've been wanting to tackle since I saw The Last Jedi and a little headcanon around their Force vision and what would poetically make their story complete formed. 
> 
> If you like the idea of this story but are wary, know it will take several chapters for that particular event to happen. It will be a large part of the plot, however. So just a heads up. Happy to talk about it if you want!
> 
> All my love to [andabatae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andabatae), who is my beta, my ear, my inspiration and dear my friend. Thank you for all your support and words of wisdom!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes to find herself in the bed of the Emperor and new Supreme Leader of the galaxy. Aching hearts mend and passions ignite. And the Force has plans for these two that are just getting started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in. This is, like, 10k of smut and feels right off the bat.

“Rey...”

The sound of her name, wrapped in warmth and something between a whisper and a gentle moan stirred her from her sleep. She rubbed her eyes, her surroundings blurred as her mind shifted back from her dreams. Slowly, the dark walls with long, dimly lit panelings came into focus. The stale scent of cold, recirculated air filled her lungs. Her fingers played at the dark grey sheets, as soft as silk beneath her fingertips. A warm body shifted beside her.

Wait a minute…

No. No, she had to be dreaming.  _ This room _ . She’d seen something like it once before. Seen a glimpse of the lighting and cold gray-and-black aesthetic. And the bed. Had there been a bed? Maybe.

Whether or not there was a bed wasn’t the part of that moment that was burned into her mind…

A soft pulse of a Force signature hummed to her right. It called to her soul. Which could only mean—

Rey turned her head toward the figure lying beside her, letting out a small gasp as she took in his features. He was there. Ben— no, Kylo. Whoever he was now. He was on his stomach, arms wrapped tight around the pillow that lay under his head and partly beneath his chest. His features were soft in sleep. All the tension he held in his face was eased as he lay in slumber’s embrace. 

He looked so young. So, dare she say, innocent?

He looked… he looked like Ben. Which is how she knew this must be a dream. Because her Ben was gone. And that made her heart  _ ache _ . 

Her silly, stupid heart. She missed him. Missed that frighteningly fast feeling of belonging she’d thought she had found. Missed the way he whispered her name, pausing before saying it just enough to wrap it in adoration, giving it almost its own world to live in on his lips. The way his eyes lingered on her face, on her mouth… Kriff, she’d had that for what? A day? A few hours? And then it was gone, so quickly it only confirmed her understanding that happiness of that kind was not meant for someone like her.

But still, she missed it, even though she’d barely possessed it. Even though it was so fleeting it might as well have been a fantasy manifested from her longing. She missed it so much that her silly,  _ stupid _ heart was making her dream of him.

She sat up as quietly as she could. It was then that she noticed he was bare from the waist up. Marble skin wrapped around the defined muscles of his back and upper arms. He was utterly massive, taking up most of the bed and making her feel small and delicate in the presence of all that strength. Her gaze followed down to where the sheet covered him at his waist, eyes lingering on the way the fabric fell and curved along his backside. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth at the sight, and her fingers strained unconsciously with a yearning to touch.

Well, if her mind was going to give her a show, she sure as hell was going to enjoy it. 

Her eyes trailed back up, following the plane of his back. That’s when she registered the scars. Some pink and raised and still molding back into his flesh—not fresh, but recently made. Others white and faded, worn back into his body. There were some that looked like battle wounds, like the one on his side from where he’d been hit with the bowcaster. But many of them crossed along his back, hashmarking his skin. 

They looked like whip marks. The aftermath of torture. 

Force, what had that monster done to him?

Rey scooted a little closer to him and reached out, hovering her fingertips over his back, following the scar trails in their patterns. She sent out her awareness, searching for any stitch of skin she could repair, any wound she could heal. Her Light seeped into him, seeking to mend but finding only scar tissue and knotted muscle. Focusing on the little she could do, she wrapped that Light about the tension he carried, relaxing each muscle slowly, hearing a contented sigh escape his lips. Her hands worked up his body to his shoulders, along his neck, into his scalp. As she did so, her mind grazed his, and in his euphoric state, it opened wide and welcomed her in. 

And there, within the boundaries of his dreams, she saw herself, aglow with light, ethereal. Was this how he saw her? This angelic version of herself carded her fingers through his hair, trailed her hands up and down his back. Dream Rey bent to kiss the scar at his shoulder, and the flesh beneath her lips smoothed. She continued to kiss him, finding each mark of the violence of his past, sewing it up with the caress of her lips. Her fingers seemed to work the same magic, for everywhere they touched was renewed. Ben was letting her fill him with her light. She watched herself seize his lips and lay a hand on his heart. At that simple gesture, she was taken aback by the flood of emotions that came rushing her way from him. Raw desire and possession, yes. But also something else. Something so beautiful in this moment and cruel in reality. In this dream within a dream, she was watching his turn to the light. It was a glimpse of that future they saw, the one he had denied her of. 

It hurt to watch. Oh, how she would have kissed his wounds and tried to mend his heart in her arms. If only he had come with her…

Why was her broken heart trying to shatter itself further? Why was it torturing her with this future that she’d already watched slip through her fingers?

Unless… Unless the Force was trying to tell her that it wasn’t lost after all. And that would mean...

She pulled herself from his head and stilled her breath. She listened, sending her awareness out to feel her surroundings. The eerie silence. The shimmering hum of the Force about them. 

This was no dream. They were in their in-between, entangled along their string as it pulled taut. Except this time, she had materialized into  _ his _ world, just like he’d appeared in her hut when she was feeling so lost and alone. That lingering thread linking their minds whispered that her sheer presence in the bed next to him had vanquished some nightmare, replacing the horror in his mind with the vision of her mending his wounds of both soul and body. 

She sank back down into the pillow beside him, just watching him dream. His breath was slow and deep, and every once in a while, a little moan escaped as he exhaled. It was mesmerizing, watching him in such a vulnerable state. A lock of dark hair fell in front of his eyes, and she reached out to brush it away from his handsome face, tucking it behind his ear and letting her fingertips dance along his cheek.

Suddenly, a hand flew up and wrapped about her wrist. Dark eyes, unfocused and half-lidded from sleep, opened to meet her own. They darted back and forth for a moment. He whispered “Rey” in that adoring and warm tone, then surged forward and captured her lips. Rey froze, body stiffening, taken completely off guard. But then his hand found her face and cupped it with such tenderness, thumb gently stroking the skin in a way that made her a shiver run up her spine. She let her eyes flutter closed and melted into his embrace. 

His lips were soft, and he took his time, kissing her sensually, with an intensity that stole her breath. The few pecks and awkward clashes of teeth and mouths from her youth paled in comparison to what this man was currently doing to her. His tongue nudged at the seam of her mouth, and she opened for him with a groan. As he slipped between her lips, the slowness and tenderness of his kiss ebbed, and suddenly she felt like she was being devoured. He was tasting her, lapping within her mouth, tongue practically sparring with hers for control and dominance. Strong arms wrapped around her, fisting in her hair and encircling her waist to pull her flush against his body. 

He was all heated skin and firm muscles, and just the feel of his bare chest pressed against her drove her insane. Warmth pooled between her thighs as his kisses started to venture south, pressing hotly to her jawline and down her neck. He mouthed the spot just below her ear, a soft growl accompanying the working of his lips and tongue, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head with a sharp inhale. 

“Oh, Ben, I—” Her voice was breathy and quivered as his lips suckled along her neck. “What are you doing to me?”

“Returning the favor,” he said against her pulse point. Her heart was beating so fast and hard that she felt it pounding against his lips. “You kissed away my pain and chased away my demons. Now, let me fill your loneliness.” 

_ Fill her loneliness _ . Did he know how many nights she’d cried herself to sleep from the soul-crushing loneliness she felt, an outcast to those who revered her but also feared her growing powers? Their tether seemed to grow stronger by the day, even as she’d kept the door shut. She could feel his emotions—his anger, his wrath, his sorrow. Just ghosts of his sentiment, but  _ there _ and unmistakably  _ his _ . Sometimes, a physical throb like a bruise would manifest suddenly, without any injury, and she could only guess that she could feel his pain as well. And if she could feel his pain—both physically and emotionally—it stood to reason that he could feel the same from her. 

If anyone could actually understand her, maybe even accept her as she was… it was Ben. The very person she’d kept locked out of her life…

Not anymore.

“I need you, Ben,” she said softly. He stopped devouring her neck at that, looking up at her for a moment. His eyes were somehow soft and warm, while still holding a dark fire within them. She swallowed before continuing. “I’ve missed you and I’m sorry and—”

“Oh, Rey…” He dipped his head, nuzzling into her shoulder. “I am the one who should be sorry.”

“Shhh…. just, Ben…  _ please _ ,” she pleaded, the ability to string words together into a coherent sentence becoming a challenge as her body screamed for  _ more _ , especially as Ben’s lips continued on their quest of ravishing her neck. She snuck her leg up his, wrapping it over his hip, and he  _ grabbed _ at her thigh, his fingers crawling up her skin, taking the long nightshirt she wore along for the ride until it was bunched at her waist. His leg pressed between hers and pushed up against the juncture of her thighs, and she let out a soft cry of both pleasure and shock. She knew she was wet from his lips at her throat and his hands all over her body and the sheer heat of him. But it wasn’t until that thick thigh of his rubbed against her throbbing core that she felt how completely soaked he had made her in a matter of minutes. She felt her cheeks burn, and satisfaction rippled down their connection from him, which only seemed to spur him on. Ben grasped her hips and guided her in rolling them, helping her to grind against him a few times before groaning and rolling on top of her. 

“I have you,” he panted, breath hot as he licked at her lips. “I have you in my bed where you belong. I want to tie you to the bedpost so you can’t fade away on me…”

“Fade away?” Rey let out a small huff against his mouth, “Ben, I’m not going anywhere, if I can help it.”

“It’s just… every time I get you in my arms to claim you, you slip away.” He found her hands, lacing their fingers together with tenderness but pinning them to the mattress on either side of her head. “But this time—Rey, you feel so  _ real _ . I can taste your lips. I can smell the sun on your skin.” He paused, nestling between her thighs and pressing his growing erection against her covered entrance. His weight pressed her deep into the bed as he ground against her dripping core and whispered in her ear, “I can feel how wet that sweet little pussy of yours is. For me.”

“Ben—” his name had barely left her lips before he was swallowing her words, tongue and plush lips taking her mouth prisoner. 

She felt lightheaded, kissed into a frenzy, and how his hand ended up on her bare stomach, she wasn’t sure, but then it was sliding lower, slipping beneath the band of her underwear. One thick finger grazed over her clit, giving it a slow circle, before tracing along her slit and delving into her folds. Rey gasped and arched at the penetration, and Ben muffled some unintelligible curse that rolled into a growl from deep within his chest. “You feel so good… so hot and wet and tight and… so  _ real _ .” He pulled back before pushing into her again, sliding to his second knuckle. 

She bit her lip to stifle a cry, clinging to his shoulders. Force, just his  _ finger _ stretched her, each gentle thrust sliding deeper and opening her up a little more. His cock was heavy and hard against her thigh, hips rocking in rhythm with his hand. With him rubbing against her, she actually took a moment to contemplate the sheer size of him and— _ oh kriff _ —how would  _ that _ ever fit? 

A second finger joined the first, and the consummate stretch of her walls trying to accommodate his thick digits walked that delicate line between pleasure and pain. It made her feel so very full and yet so empty. She craved more. A desperation to fulfill that need, to feel so utterly full of him in a much more intimate way, began to override every other thought.

And as that need swept through her, she itched to  _ feel _ him. Her nimble fingers hooked into the sides of her panties, and she inched them over her hips. She was able to wiggle them to mid-thigh before Ben took over, hooking his knee into the crotch of them and pushing them down her legs roughly and kicking them away. She tugged at the simple sleep pants he wore, and soon they were discarded somewhere across the room with her underwear, leaving her in just her tunic and him naked in all his glory with his fingers knuckles-deep in her cunt. 

Her hand found his cock and wrapped around the weeping head of him. They both gasped as she gave a slow pump, her fingers not meeting as they encircled his girth. He thrust his hips into her hand, moving his fingers within her along with them with a sharp slam. Rey writhed beneath him, still  _ needing _ as she imagined his shaft replacing his fingers. The thought of being split apart by his manhood should  _ not _ practically bring her to orgasm, but she felt herself clench around his fingers nonetheless. 

“I  _ am _ going to have you tonight, Rey. Call of the dawn be damned.” His voice was rough and oh so low. His fingers continued to delve into her heat, and his lips trailed fire up her neck, leaving bruises in their wake. But then his voice softened, and when he reached her lips, he kissed her sweetly. “But after I’ve had you, I know I won’t ever want to wake up. I’ll just want to stay in this dream where you want me, where you are mine, until the stars lose their fire.”

“And what makes you think this is still a dream?” She brushed her fingers through his hair, hauntingly sad eyes falling into hers.

So much hung in the air in that pregnant moment. He searched her face, sorrow and longing emanating from him before breathing out, “Because the only place you’d want me like this is in my dreams.”

That broke her heart anew. She pressed her lips to his again, and he deepened the kiss, locking them together. His fingers slipped from her body, and both arms wrapped about her and held her to him tightly. She felt a shiver of fear and desperation through their connection, almost as if he was terrified that if he let her go, she would disappear into thin air. Which, to be honest, she could. Their bond could disconnect at any moment. But if she had stubbornly kept it closed for as long as she had, maybe if they both willed it to stay open, it would obey.

They had already lost so much time together. And if the bond could separate them at will, than they should make the most of what they were given. Using her legs wrapped about his waist, she rocked them slightly, rolling them over so she was laying on top of him. She pried his hands off of her so she could lift her tunic over her head and fling it aside. Ben’s hands lay at her hips as he took her in, naked above him. She guided his hands to cup her breasts, gasping when the warmth of his palms made contact with her soft skin, thumbs rolling her nipples to hardened peaks. Her hips rolled of their own volition, feeling his cock slip between her folds and nudge at her clit. With a small shift, she lined the head of him up with her entrance. 

He stopped worshipping her breasts with his hands to look up at her in wonder, “Rey, what are you—”

She bent down and placed a finger over his lips, shushing him gently, “I need you, Ben.” And with a shy smile she added, “And you know I can take whatever I want. And I want you.”

And then she rocked down, taking him inside her slick core.

It was an impossibly tight fit. His fingers had given her a taste, but she didn’t think there was anything that could have prepared her for the stretch of his cock. It was almost a burn, but the fullness he created within her, the way with every small movement she seemed to mold to his form, encouraged her to continue to take more of him with small rolls, going a little deeper every time. He held her hips and helped guide her movements along his length, throwing his head back in a moan. 

But then, it felt like something was blocking her from taking him all the way. He had closed his eyes now, mumbling her name in drunken ecstasy, intermingling it with phrases like “can’t believe” and “so tight” and “too good.” She pressed down to slide him almost out of her before letting gravity use her body weight to push past that inner barrier and take him as deep as she could. A sharp, sudden pain stabbed at her abdomen and caused her to suck in a breath through her teeth to strangle her cry. She wasn’t so naive to not know what had just happened, but it did surprise her a bit that she had any semblance of a hymen left. She’d put her body through a lot over the years. But Ben was a substantial man in every way, and with the hurried nature of their coupling, she couldn’t help but cry out at the shock of surrendering her innocence to him. 

“Rey, what—” Ben’s eyes snapped to hers, concern overwhelming her from their connection. “I felt… I felt pain. Did I hurt you?” He cursed under his breath, sitting up so she was straddling his waist. “Why am I always hurting you, even in my dreams?”

“Ben.” What would it take to make him understand? She rocked back a little, wincing at the drag against her bruised flesh, and reached between them to where his length was just barely still inside her. She found the moisture there, gathered it on her fingers, and brought it up to their sight. Sure enough, a small amount of blood stained her skin, diluted with her arousal. “Ben, look. Is this not proof enough that this isn’t a dream? That I’m really here?” And she slid him back into her body, ignoring the pain as she took him as deep as she was able. “That I want you.”

“Kriff, Rey, you’re bleeding.” He took her hand and examined it. As he did, she watched the wheels turning in his head as all his denial and doubt lifted. His eyes rose to find hers. “You’re here. Rey, you’re… but… how?”

“We connected. While we were both asleep.”

“We’re in our bond? But how are we able to—”

“I don’t know.” And she rolled her hips, both of them gasping. She almost choked when he thrust his own up a little, feeling her body continue to struggle to stretch around his girth. Her brows creased and her face screwed, unable to hide her discomfort as she tried to rock through the swell of him. “But that is definitely your cock inside me.”

He found her hips and stopped her movements. “Rey, stop, please. You’re in pain.” He lifted her gently, pulling his hard length out of her body before settling her back into his lap. “It shouldn’t have been like this.”

Tears welled in her eyes and cascaded down her face. Was he rejecting her? “Did I do something wrong? Ben, I know that I must not be very good at this—”

“Rey.” He stopped her with his words, his thumb stroking her cheek. “Stop. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve dreamed about this moment a million times, but never thought that it would happen. That you could ever want me in this way. Much less that I would be your first. I don’t feel worthy enough for that.”

“I gave myself to  _ you _ , Ben. I decide whether you are worthy or not.” And she slapped him lightly on the shoulder. “And you, you big lug, couldn’t get it through your thick skull that I wasn’t some figment of your imagination.”

“And it shouldn’t have taken you bleeding to get me to realize that.” Her took her hands in his before bringing them to his lips and kissing each one in turn. “I swore if I ever got you in my bed, I’d take my time with you. And you’re here. Let me make this right.”

“But what if…” she stuttered, hating the vulnerability that colored her tone. But the look in Ben’s eyes, all soft concern and patience, made her feel anything but weakened by it. “What if we disconnect? What if I fade away on you?”

And then he kissed her, so softly it almost brought her to tears. “Then I’ll scour the galaxy until I find you so we can finish what we started.” He tilted them both, rolling her down to his side and settling her into the pillow as he stretched out alongside her. “But I warn you.” His voice dropped, a grin playing at the corner of his mouth. “If that happens, I might actually tie you to my bed and never let you leave.”

His mouth was on hers again before she could respond, hungry kisses, deep and carnal. His hand found her throat and wrapped around it, though he applied no pressure. The hold was possessive, matching the way his tongue took over her mouth. But in complete contrast, his fingertips stroked along her jawline, soothing circles that made goosebumps rise along her skin. This man was made of contradiction, passion and violence and tenderness that bloomed together in everything he did.

His hand left her throat and trailed down her body, taking a detour to palm and caress each of her breasts in turn. A light pinch at her nipple made her squeal into his mouth, and he smirked against her lips.

“Rey, in my dream, you were Force healing me,” he said between sloppy kisses, now leaving her swollen lips and meandering lower. “Can you actually do that?”

Her fingers dug into his scalp, turning her head to let him have complete possession of her neck. “I can’t heal the scars on your body, like you saw in your vision, but I can heal wounds, headaches—”

“Can you heal yourself?” he interjected, licking a purpling bruise from his earlier passionate assault.

“You mean...” She swallowed, flushing at the implication of his words. “Heal  _ myself _ .”

“Yes,” he hissed against her throat. He grabbed her hand and slid it down her body, helping her to cup her bruised flesh at her juncture. “Rey,  _ heal yourself _ . And then I’m going to kiss you  _ here _ .” He pressed gently against her hand, careful not to injure her further. “I told you I’m going to make this right. I’m going to kiss away the very memory of the pain I caused you. Pleasure you until all you know is my lips at your clit and my tongue in your cunt and you're begging me to sheath myself within you once more.”

She whimpered at his words, feeling her swollen center clench at the emptiness within her. Ben’s lips were at her breast, nipping at the rosy peaks of her nipples before wrapping around as much of her flesh as he could and sucking hard. She arched up, crying aloud, mind going fuzzy. He released her with a slick pop, and she grabbed his face and made him look at her. “Kriff, Ben. I’m halfway to begging for you as it is.” And why did she love that cocky, bantha-shit-eating grin that was painted across his face? “But if you want me to try to heal myself, I need to concentrate, and I can’t when you’re practically devouring my tits.”

That stupid smile got bigger, but he stopped his ministrations and laid his head to rest in the crook of her neck. She started to set about how she would turn her energy in on herself, trying to bring herself to a meditative state. Yet she was still keenly aware of Ben. She felt him slow his breath, and in doing so, his Force signature calmed. His hand stayed on top of hers, thumb caressing the back, and as he did, she felt a tingling warmth radiating from his fingertips. It wrapped about the Light of the Force within her, melding with hers and strengthening that golden glow. Together, they sent that energy out, looking inside her and concentrating on the damaged flesh within. She saw it healing; what little tearing there had been was easily mended, the small amount of blood of her maidenhead drawn away and dissipated into the air. She felt his energy signature surge forward to take over, and with the guiding hand of her own energy, he soothed the muscles within her. The pain ebbed and melted away.

There was something strangely erotic about him being inside her like this, using the light within him to help heal her in such an intimate way. A different kind of ache began to creep in to replace the pain of her claiming—a delightfully warm yearning that caused her body to undulate against the light stroking within her. She started to withdraw from within herself, becoming acutely aware of their hands, now laced together, grinding against her. He helped rock the palm of her hand against her clit, slowly increasing the pressure as they both came back. His lips were moving against her throat again, mouthing her skin and inhaling her scent. 

”I don’t think Force healing is supposed to be so...so...” Rey stuttered, biting her bottom lip to stifle a moan as Ben nibbled at her ear.

“Erotic,” he offered in a growl. “Kriff, Rey. I was  _ inside _ you. And that is just… sexy, but I helped  _ heal _ you. I’ve never been able to do that before.”

She tilted his face up with her free hand, smiling to see his eyes so wide with wonder. “You did an excellent job, Ben. There may just be a Lightside Force healer in there somewhere.”

“Maybe where your pussy is concerned,” he joked. “I’d do anything to be inside it at all.”

She let out a laugh and grabbed his chin with her thumb and forefinger. “So you want to be back inside me?”

The corner of his mouth turned up with a glint in his eyes as he nodded. He slipped his hand under hers, swirling in the slickness there before guiding two fingers gently inside her. They slid in with much more ease this time. “Do you want me like this?”

She arched in a silent cry and grabbed his wrist to help his fingers pump into her, even as she was shaking her head and panting out, “More.”

“Patience, sweetheart,” he said. “We’re going to go slow this time. I’ve wanted you for too long. Now I’m going to worship you.”

His fingers curled within her, stroking that spongy spot of her walls, memorizing every groove of her insides and taking note of the places that made her eyes roll into the back of her head. Thumb finding her clit, swollen and slicked with arousal, he began to worry it, rubbing it in slow circles. Rey’s breath was starting to come in gasps as she covered her eyes with one hand. “Oh Ben! I need more, please. I want… I want…” 

His lust-filled eyes caught hers. There was something dark burning within them, something that knotted in her belly and fanned the fire between her thighs where his fingers were stroking her into euphoria. “Say it, Rey. What is it you want?”

“I want…” A gentle blush painted her cheeks, a rosy mix of near-orgasmic frenzy and nervous energy. “No, I  _ need _ to come. Make me come, Ben. Then I need you inside me.”

“Greedy little scavenger.” He hovered above her lips, letting his mouth barely graze hers as he spoke. “So you’ve had a taste of my cock and now you want more?”

“Please…” she breathed, chasing after his mouth, which he evaded.

“Force, Rey. You begging for me is my every fantasy come to life.” The movement of his fingers within her alternated between long, calculated strokes curved towards her belly and deep, rough thrusts that had her gasping for air. “I still can’t believe you’re letting me do this to you, that you want me like this.”

“If you still don’t believe it now—Ah!” She cried out as his thumb pressed again to her throbbing bud, “Oh stars, Ben! I’m gonna… I’m gonna—”

He leaned forward and stopped her mouth with his. To her great distress, as he deepened the kiss, his hand withdrew from her. She whimpered into his mouth, teetering so close to the edge of a mind-blowing orgasm. She writhed her hips, searching for his hand to help push her over the edge, but instead of returning to her dripping center, he held her hips in place, ceasing her thrashing with one strong arm. 

“No, Ben. Please… don’t stop. I’m so close,” she pleaded once his lips left hers and started working their way down her body.

“Oh, you’re going to come for me. And soon.” His hands found her breasts, and he smeared her wetness from his fingers all over one of her nipples before sealing his lips over it and licking it clean. “But I need to taste you.” He continued working his way down, licking and nipping at her skin, pausing as he reached the small, dark mound of hair between her thighs. “You’re going to come with my lips and my tongue all over this pussy. And then I’m going to give you exactly what you’ve been begging me for. And this time, sweetheart, I promise there will be no pain. Only pleasure.”

All Rey could do was let out a small moan as a fresh gush of moisture pooled at his words. Her hips were still jerking of their own volition, chasing after the orgasm Ben had denied her, when he settled between her legs. She closed her eyes, feeling his fingers caress her inner thighs, making her skin tingle. The feeling of his lips followed, placing delicate kisses lower and lower. His breath was hot against her already heated skin. He hiked her legs up over his shoulders, and she threaded her fingers in his hair. Fingers delicately parted her folds before his tongue was on her, lapping from bottom to top before swirling deliciously at that pearl of nerves. She arched off the bed, taking fistfuls of his hair in her hands and tugging, that fire already beginning to stoke again in her belly. 

Ben’s sinful lips wrapped around her clit, sucking it into his mouth and running his tongue over that pulsing jewel. It made her feel as if she was running headlong straight for a cliff, and she wanted nothing more than to leap off the edge and fall into oblivion. But then, he released her, making her feel as if her tumble was impeded by a wall. The sudden absence of his warm mouth let her slicked core cool in the air, causing her to shiver. She cursed aloud and tried to yank his head back to where she wanted him so desperately. 

He managed to disentangle her hands from his locks and kissed her straining fingertips with sweetness, though she could feel a devilish curl to his lips. “Almost, my dear,” he purred against the skin of her thigh. “You taste so sweet; I don’t want it to be over just yet.” He then gently tapped her clit, soft laughter rolling from him as she let out something between a moan and a cry that sounded distinctly like she’d mixed her expletives in several languages. Those fingers gave another, slightly harder tap before pressing against that nub and rolling it. His tongue then dove into her warmth, prodding and licking her insides as his fingers continued to work her clit. 

Rey was sent right back to the edge. The new sensation of his tongue literally inside her pulled her back just a little, sucking in a deep breath of air at the delightful intrusion. She hummed and moaned as he lapped within her, and those fingers, worrying her back and forth and in circles, were bringing her closer and closer to the ledge. Her whole body was pulled tight on a string, wound up like a coil. 

_ You’ve been such a good girl _ , he crooned in her head.  _ Come for me, sweetheart. _

And that sweet encouragement was all she needed. Suddenly, she fell and fell hard, right over that cliff that Ben had brought her to. Her lungs refused to take in air, and a silent scream fell from her lips. She pulsed around his tongue, and he drank her up, not stopping his fingers or his mouth as she spasmed through her orgasm. A slow lick of his tongue through her folds, and her voice returned to her, letting out a cry that resounded against the walls of his room. He hummed against her, lips nipping at her swollen center, and it was all too much. She squirmed away from him, still feeling small aftershocks twitch and pulse through her body as she squeezed her eyes shut, gasping for breath. 

Ben crawled his way back up her body and helped her roll to her side, wrapping his arms about her and drawing her against his chest. His lips found her shoulder and pressed kisses along it.

“Breathe, darling,” he spoke against her sweat-slicked skin. “Just breathe.” She obeyed, forcing herself to take air into her lungs. He tucked her even closer to him as his lips found her ear. “You are stunning when you come. I’ve been dying to watch you fall apart, and it was better than any dream. Wild and sweet and utterly mesmerizing.” 

“That was…I just… Ben…” she stuttered, snuggling into his arms. “Words hard.” Her bottom sunk against his hips, and she felt his erection prod between her legs, impossibly stiff, slipping in the slickness there. The fog in her brain began to lift as she felt him rock his hips, his full length sliding against her skin. She ground herself into his lap further, her voice rough as she said, “And that’s apparently not the only thing.”

He laughed then—a full-hearted, deep roar of a laugh—and Rey felt like she might burst hearing the sound. She turned her head to face him, seeing his eyes a honeyed hue from mirth. “And that is something I’ve been dying for: to hear your laughter.”

He seized her mouth in a dizzying kiss, holding her tighter to him. When he released her and settled his cheek against hers, he softly said, “You seem to draw out parts of me that I’ve kept hidden and locked away for years. I haven’t really laughed since—well, I can’t really remember when.”

That tugged at Rey’s heart. “Well, you should do it more often. It really is as lovely a sound as I thought it would be.”

She felt him smile as he nuzzled his nose against her cheek, drawing back to her ear and whispering, “My sweet girl, are you sure that my laugh is the only thing you’ve been dying for?” He angled his hips up so that with his next thrust, his cock slid between her drenched folds, making her gasp. With a growl, his hand crept up her chest and wrapped around her throat, tilting her head back. His heated member continued to rub back and forth, the swollen head of him hitting her overworked bud, slipping in the damning evidence of her arousal. “Naughty girl. I thought I licked you clean, but you’re a drenched mess again.” His voice dripped dark with sin, and Rey bit her bottom lip. When he made a tsking sound in her ear, she actually shuddered in his arms. “My cock is absolutely dripping with  _ you. _ ”

“Ben, please…” Rey was not a person to beg, and yet more than once he’d turned her into a pleading, needy mess with his salacious words. 

Hand still holding her throat, the other reached between her legs, finding his manhood and guiding it to her entrance, slotting the head of him into her. She tensed a little, with a small intake of air, but his lips were soothing at her cheek and neck and shoulder. The hand at her throat relaxed, and his fingers stroked her skin. “We’ll go slow,” he reassured her tenderly. “I’ll be gentle at first. This position will feel different, but Rey, any pain and we stop. All right?”

She nodded, a small “Yes” falling from her parted lips. 

“Now, sweetheart.” That edge in his voice returned as his pitch dropped, but it was still tinged with a gentle tone—almost as if the Ben and Kylo sides of him were speaking at the same time. “Tell me you’re mine. Say you’re mine and mine alone and I’ll fill the lonely ache within you. Say it.”

She turned her head, pulling away just enough to be able to look into his eyes, whispering, “I’m yours, Ben. All yours.”

The devilish flash in those umber eyes and that wicked smile were positively sinful. “Mine,” he responded as he pressed his mouth to hers, slowly pushing his hips forward and his length within her. 

Ben had been right. This felt  _ different _ . The stretch was still present, but he went in slow, careful motions, letting her body adjust. At this angle, in this position, she felt  _ everything.  _ He pushed within her wetness deeper, helping her to lift one leg slightly, cradling her knee. The tip of him dragged along her front walls, hitting that sweet spot within her, making her release his mouth to let out a moan. His hand at her throat turned her head back so she was facing away from him. He withdrew his hips, drawing her tight against his chest and then letting himself sink back into her. This time, her body seemed to welcome him completely, and they both sighed as she took him to the hilt. 

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he breathed, lips against her ear. “ _ This _ is how it was supposed to be. You’re so tight, but see? You mold to me. It’s as if you were made for me and I for you, isn’t it?”

She nodded, both of them understanding the gravity of that statement. And in response, their connection bloomed, blew open wide as they came together. Their feelings and thoughts intertwined almost tangibly. She felt him aching to move, knew that she felt so tight around him that it walked the line between pain and pleasure. But she also felt his desperate desire to make amends, not just for earlier and the pain she caused herself because he was unable to see that she was really there and desired him. No, he was desperate to somehow atone for all the transgressions of their past, too numerous and painful to name. A new start, in a way, by taking the hard left from estranged allies to lovers. 

Lovers on opposite sides of a war. Star-crossed. Bound together by fate. How they’d pave their way, she had no clue. This was new and undiscovered terrain.

But they had this gift of tonight. And by all the Gods and the Force, they were going to make it count. 

“This feels… oh, stars, Ben!” She rolled her hips, the action giving him the movement he was craving, dragging against that newly discovered sweet spot within her. They moved in tandem, rocking in slow, deliberate motions. Every time their bodies met with more ease. Ben’s hand found her hip bone and started to pull her back against himself a little rougher. A slight tilt of her hips guided by his fingers and he was delving deeper, his hand leaving her throat and cupping her breast, fingers digging into the flesh there. She realized then that she had been mumbling his name over and over again. She bit down hard on her lip to stop her lust-driven rambles. 

But Ben’s fingers were soon at her mouth, gently easing her lips away from her teeth. He caressed the swollen skin beneath his thumb. “No. No, Rey. Let me hear you.” He slid that thumb between her parted lips, and she bit down at his knuckle before closing her mouth around him. That elicited a groan from him, accompanied by an almost brutal thrust. “Unless you have my fingers, my tongue, or my cock in this mouth, I want to hear everything I do to you.”

She moaned around his finger as he slammed into her from behind several more times, hearing his grunts of exertion. But then, abruptly, he withdrew his cock and his thumb. She opened her mouth to protest, but before she could utter a sound, he grabbed her arm and flipped her to lay on her back.  His hand encircled her entire bicep, and he paused for a moment when he felt a little bump beneath her flesh there. He let out a small breath, lifting her arm up over her head, his fingertips lovingly brushing the small scar there. Those light caresses, followed soon by a gentle kiss, made her eyes roll into the back of her head. His hands followed her svelte curves, and  his lips followed the path of his fingertips. Nudging between her split legs , he settled between them and in one swift motion bottomed out in her once more. Her strangled cry as he plunged within her made him pause for a moment.

_ Too much? _ His voice was tender in her head, dark eyes searching hers. 

“No,” she spoke aloud. “Just, well... Ben, you’re a whole lot of man. In every way.” 

His eyes glinted, and that smirk turned the corner of his mouth up. “Mmmm, but you can take it. Feel me, sweetheart.” He drew his hips back carefully and then slipped back into her hot, wet core. He went painfully slow, and she sent the feeling of him filling her down their connection. And it was more than just physically being full of him. As he settled deep inside her, she noted that it was hard for her to tell where she stopped and he began. Emotionally and on some cosmic level, it was as if they were being melded together. The bond glimmered and trembled, wrapping them both in golden warmth. Her breath stuttered.

Ben placed his lips tenderly to her forehead. “Don’t be afraid—”

“I feel it, too,” she finished for him. “I’m not afraid. Not with you.”

“My Rey,” he said as he slid his hand beneath her body to cradle her head and grabbed her thigh with the other, lifting her leg up to bend at his hip. “See, even the Force says you’re mine.” 

He kissed her passionately then, his hand tightening in her hair and the other digging into her flesh. She secretly hoped he’d leave bruises, so when she woke up cold and alone the next morning, she’d have a remembrance of this night. He must have heard the bittersweet thought, because he squeezed her leg almost to the point of pain before starting a measured but brutal pace with his hips. 

_ You claimed me with your blade. And my life, my heart, my soul are yours. But now, I claim you _ , his labored voice echoed in her head,  _ with my hands, with my lips, with my cock and my cum. You. Are. Mine _ . He punctuated those three words with deliberate, rough thrusts that jarred her whole body. The hand marking her leg slid to where their bodies joined, and he found her clit, rubbing it with a messy rhythm that matched the frantic motion of his hips. 

Rey stopped trying to keep track of the number of times she’d cried out his name to the stars. Ben pounded into her, all thoughts of being careful and gentle tossed away as he let months of pent-up desire release all at once. His mouth was all over her, claiming her lips, devouring her neck, mumbling filthy words of encouragement against her skin. His fist in her hair yanked tighter, arching her body into him. Each stroke of him filled her deeper, coiling that spring within her belly, and she felt herself climb higher and higher with every surge of his cock within her. 

It was something base and primal, yet strangely tender. To call what they were doing “fucking” seemed to debase the act, but it wasn’t quite the romantic action that could be dubbed “making love.” It lay somewhere in between.

But yet, oh stars, was this  _ passion _ —raw and unbridled, licked and wrapped by the Dark. That darkness bleed into her veins from him, from within her, from the Force around them. Instead of fearing it or trying to rid herself of it, she embraced it. Let it wash over her and invade her. But there was the Light too, mingled with that darkness. She felt it twist and knit together between them, a strange sort of cosmic dance that seemed born of starlight and married with caliginosity. It swirled between them, furling and unfurling until it found purchase and connected with both their hearts. Rey’s eyes flung open and met Ben’s own, shock painting them. 

It felt as if lightning struck. It coursed through her veins, setting her ablaze, and then Rey was falling again, vision blurring and going white as she came with his name on her lips. She pulsed and shuddered around him, pulling him into the abyss with her, and with one more thrust to seat himself as deep as he could, he followed her. Through the pounding of her heart in her ears, she heard her name wrapped in the deep timbre of his voice as he emptied himself within her.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, their breath ragged and unsteady. Then Ben tucked his arms about her and rolled them before his strength gave out from exhaustion, pulling her on top of him while staying deep within her warmth. Rey laid her face on his chest and listened to his heartbeat thundering against her ear. His hands gently carded through her hair, untangling the knots his fingers had created. She hummed at the feeling, his strong fingertips eventually working into her scalp and massaging where he had fisted and pulled perhaps a bit harder than he had intended. She felt his lips at the top of her head, pressing against it and staying buried in her hair, breathing in her essence. 

“Ben.” She let his name be what broke the silence of their afterglow. “What  _ was _ that? Something happened to the bond. Can you feel it? Something is different between us.”

“It is.” He took a deep breath, fingers now working down to rub the muscles of her shoulders. “But I don’t know what exactly happened. I’ve never heard of a bond like ours. It’s unique. The way we connect, they way we feel each other even when we are trying to shut the other one out. It’s already so strong, and I think it got stronger, if that’s even possible.” He hugged her tighter to him, arms enveloping her before playfully whispering, “I think it means you’re stuck with me.”

She pinched him lightly at that, and when he squirmed with a shout, she pulled her head up and prodded him playfully in the chest. “Well, you’re stuck with a nobody scavenger, so how does the Supreme Leader feel about that?”

He grabbed the hand currently poking him in the chest and took it in his. “Not a nobody. A goddess of light and strength and fire without the responsibilities of a legacy on her shoulders. And I feel like the luckiest man in the galaxy, to be stuck with you.”

Rey tried to hide the smile that bloomed on her face, but the flush at her cheeks and her dimples betrayed her. “Did that orgasm knock something loose in your brain?” she teased as she rumpled his hair. 

“I don’t know, maybe.” He gave his hips a little thrust, and his soft member finally slid from her body. “Give me fifteen minutes and we can go for round two and see if we can bump it back in place.”

Rey gave a small chuckle, but it morphed into a yawn as she stretched herself out along his body and buried her face against his chest once more. 

“Or maybe I’ve worn you out,” he said as his fingers found her hair again, stroking the waves that fell down her back and pulling it to the side so he could trace circles at her shoulders. “You should sleep, sweetheart.”

“No. No sleep,” she protested. “I sleep, the bond disconnects. And I wake up alone in my bunk on base.” Her voice quivered, but she held back her tears.

“I mean,” he mused as he helped her ease her hands under his shoulders to wrap her arms about him tight, “I could try the ‘tying you to the bed’ thing I was threatening before—”

“Oh, so then I wake up alone  _ and _ tied to the bedpost?” Her head popped up enough to be able to glare at him. “And naked, I might add.”

He considered that fact for a moment before saying, “As much as I would love to keep you naked as much as possible...” He glanced around the room, noting where her tunic had ended up in a heap. He reached his hand out for it and it flew to him. “The thought of Dameron or FN-21—”

“Finn,” Rey corrected him.

“Fine.  _ Finn _ .” The name came out with a little more venom than he had intended. “The thought of either of them or anyone else catching a glimpse of you gloriously naked makes me feel the intense need to destroy something violently. So…” He helped her wrangle the tunic back on before wrapping her back up in his arms, then lowered his voice to a sultry whisper. “However, the panties I’m keeping as a souvenir.” 

“Oh, Ri’ia!” She could feel her cheeks burn against his skin. “Ben! Why would you want those? I kind of… well… they are kind of a mess.”

“Why do you think I’m keeping them?” he all but growled, and if Rey thought her cheeks were burning before, then she might spontaneously combust now, because her whole body was aflame in mortification. 

But Ben’s hands, warm and soothing on her back and tangled again in her hair, worked to temper her embarrassment. Their connection hummed, and through it, Ben seemed to soothe her very being, almost as if he was inside her skin.

“I just…” she started and then paused, nuzzling her face deeper into the muscles of his chest. He was so warm and solid and just so  _ there _ . It was strange to think that they were trapped in their in-between and not actually laying in a bed together. “I just don’t want to think about tomorrow. What if all we had was tonight?”

“I refuse to believe that.” His voice was gentle and soft. “Something happened between us, Rey. Something very strong and significant. With all I’ve learned, with all I know, I just can’t believe that the Force would bring us together like this just to rip us apart after one night.”

She paused for a moment to contemplate before whispering into his chest, “Ben, I don’t want to be alone in the morning. I want to wake up in your arms.”

“I would give anything for that, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead, holding her tight. “Reach out to me in the morning. Try focusing on speaking to me along this thread that is connecting us. Something tells me we’ll be able to communicate along it. From what I understand, that’s how Force bonds usually work, so it seems natural that ours would let us speak across worlds whenever we need to.”

Rey nodded, but dread still gnawed away at her belly. She tried to bury her fears deep in her mind, tried to shove them away, but those ingrained and deep-rooted thoughts sprang to the forefront. She felt when Ben read them, her emotions now an open book to her bondmate. “Hey,” he said, tilting her chin up so he could look her in the eyes. “Rey, are you really afraid that I won’t want you after tonight? That I would just use you and then toss you aside?”

Rey just swallowed deeply and squeezed her eyes shut, tears falling down her cheeks. She then felt Ben kissing away her tears before finding her lips. “Never,” he promised against them. “Now that I’ve had you, I only want more. I’m not like those pathetic excuses for parents that fate handed you. I’m yours and you are mine now, come what may.”

Another searing kiss, and the world seemed to fade away until all that remained was her and Ben and the universe that existed in that bed. With kiss-swollen lips and sleep-heavy eyes, Ben eased her back into his arms and against his chest, all while softly repeating  _ Mine, mine, mine _ , through their bond. It was like a lullaby to her soul. The pulse of their bond, the warmth of the Force cradling them together, and the gentle pattern of fingertips tracing circles at her back added their own melodies to soothe. Breathing in his scent and listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat, she soon was lulled into sleep within Ben’s arms. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my very first true multi-chapter story and I’m excited and utterly terrified to go on this journey. I promise lots of fluff and smut and just a little angst. Always a HEA, though! 
> 
> Kudos and comments give me life! And I love to interact with my readers and answer questions... it helps keep my brain going! 
> 
> Come join me on the [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/auroranoir7)!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning comes after Ben and Rey share a night of passion and, with it, an interesting development. 
> 
> Otherwise known as: You want more smut? Here's some more smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience in this update. There's a lot happening in life- mostly good! 
> 
> Again, love to [andabatae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andabatae) for beta-ing another beast of a chapter and teaching me about writing with patience and grace.

It wasn’t the blinding sunlight streaming in her window that woke her, nor the humidity that reached near suffocating levels so early in the mornings, as usual. With a languid blink, she noted that the light in her room was still dim. She pressed her eyes shut again, willing herself to fall back into slumber. She wasn’t ready to face the morning and the fact that she and Ben were now back in their respective beds, on opposite sides of the galaxy and of the war. The throbbing ache between her legs and the stickiness on her thighs was a bittersweet reminder of all that had transpired the night before. She took in a deep breath, cold air filling her lungs, and buried her face into her pillow. She bit her tongue to suppress a sob when his scent— lingering still on the pillow, the sheets, her skin— overwhelmed her senses. Tears slid from her shut eyes and fell to the warm fabric beneath her. 

Actually, it wasn’t just warm. Force, her whole mattress felt like the mid-day sun on Jakku. Yet the air itself was cool, cold even. She shivered as a cool breeze caressed her bare arm. Her pillow moved to wrap the blanket around her more, covering her from the neck down and allowing the trapped heat to soothe away the goosebumps on her skin. 

Wait… her pillow had moved.

She then noted that her pillow also seemed to have a heartbeat. And was breathing slow, deep breaths that caused her to rise and fall as she lay upon it. 

Her eyes sprung open. She lifted her head and turned her neck to look at what lay beneath her, and her eyes slowly adjusted to the dim lighting to take in the peaceful sleeping features of Ben Solo.

She whipped her head about, taking in her surroundings. The paneled lighting, the dark sheets… She was still in Ben’s room. There was no way she could be here. Did they reconnect in the early morning hours? Did the bond just stay open after they shared their desires to not wake up alone the next morning?

She listened. And then she listened harder, reaching her senses out. Her breath quickened, and her hands began to tremble.

There was no hum of the bond. Only the drone of the air recirculating in the room and the thrum of the ship’s engines. The only traces of the Force were her own signature and Ben’s quiet one, as well as the thread connecting them. 

She shook her head. No, this wasn’t real. Surely, this actually was a dream now. There was no way she could actually be bodily transported across the stars through the Force.

In one last attempt, clinging to that thread of disbelief, she pinched herself. Hard. Hard enough that she bit her tongue to stifle a cry and watched as Ben shifted, feeling the pain of it echo through their tether.

Kriff… This  _ was _ real. She was on a First Order ship. In the arms of a very naked Ben Solo. In the bed of the Supreme Leader of the galaxy.

And devoid of her underwear on top of it.

Kriff, kriff, kriff! 

In a panic, she shifted, feeling the urge to move, to flee... but Ben’s arms immediately wrapped about her and held her to his solid chest. The warmth of his embrace and a gentle caress down their connection helped to calm her racing heart. Whatever lay ahead, she realized in that moment that they had gotten their wish, strange and confusing and dangerous as this situation was. She got to wake up in her lover’s arms, feeling wanted. If she ignored the fact that she was quite literally sleeping with the enemy and momentarily pushed aside the knowledge of just exactly where this bed was located, then this might be the happiest she’d ever felt.

After letting herself bask in the heat of Ben’s body pressed against hers and the comfort of his arms and the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat, she pressed a kiss to his sternum, her lips tasting the sharp bite of salt dried there. “Ben,” she whispered against his skin. 

When he didn’t move, she pressed a hand to his cheek, running her thumb along his lips. “Ben,” she spoke, rough edges from sleep smoothing out along the syllable of his name. He stirred a little, and a grumble escaped from his chest. His face turned into her hand, and his lips sought out her palm, but as soon as he pursed his lips against the crossing lines there, he stilled and drifted back asleep. A soft snore sounded from him, and she couldn’t help by giggle a little. Of course, Ben was as stubborn as a happabore at a water trough.

She then crawled up his body and pressed her lips to his ear. “Benjamin Solo, you wake up right no—”

She didn’t finish her sentence before strong arms rolled her over, tucking her head under his chin and practically crushing her to him as he lay on his side. “The alarm will go off before we need to get up. Shhhh… Go back to sleep, Rey.”

And then she felt his energy signature spark to life. He pulled back, looking down at her as the bombshell of reality hit him. 

“Rey? What are you…? Why…? How…?” His hands grasped her shoulders and slid up to cup her face. She felt him reach out as she had done, searching for that rippling hum of their connection. And then his face lit up, “Rey. You’re actually here.”

She nodded, pushing away her fear and taking joy in the complete elation in his eyes. “Yes, Ben. I’m really here. With you.”

He dipped his head down and captured her lips in a searing kiss. Their bond wrapped around them, mimicking their arms. Touching, kissing… just simply being together, physically in the same place, felt like all the missing pieces of their souls were knitting together. 

“I don’t know how or why, but—” she gasped between kisses. 

“Neither do I,” he replied. “And I don’t care. All I care about right now is that you are here. You are in my bed and I’m taking full advantage of that.” He rolled on top of her, slotting his hips between her legs. “You feared I wouldn’t want you in the morning, love?” And he thrust his hips against hers, his already hard member sliding against her core and slicking in her fresh arousal and the mess left over from their previous carnal activities. Ben hissed as he slipped back and forth in her wetness. “Can you feel just how much you didn’t have to worry? I’ll always want you. I could have you time and time again and never get enough.”

The seductive roll of his hips was intoxicating, but then his swollen head brushed directly against her entrance and she winced just a little. “Ben, I’m sore from last night,” she said shyly, feeling a flush creep across her cheeks. “And I’m all sticky from you…”

He lay his head against her shoulder and let out a sound that rumbled from deep within him. Rey felt his arousal spike, as his cock twitched against her and the electric shock of it rippled through the bond. “Rey… I don’t think you understand what that does to me…”

She laughed, “What? Telling you I’m a sore, gross mess?”

“Shhh…” He pulled his head up off her and took her chin in his hands, thumb grazing over her bottom lip. “You are beautifully wrecked. And I did it to you. It’s primal and it’s dark, but it makes something in me soar with pride.” He placed his forehead to hers, his voice dropping in a way that made her hips roll with his words. “You’re sore from  _ my _ cock. Your thighs are dripping with  _ my _ cum. Your lips are swollen from  _ my _ mouth.” His hand trailed up and down her cheek before lingering at her throat. “I can see every place where I’ve sunk my teeth into your skin. And your cheeks are the most delicious shade of pink. All because you are mine.”

She was quivering beneath him, his velvet-wrapped words invading her soul and spreading through her like wildfire. The blood in her veins pumped the heady lust like a drug through her system. His hand traveled lower down her body, tracing her nipple through the fabric of her tunic, following the gentle curve of her waist down to her hip. Her breath was coming in gasps by the time he placed his hand between her legs and let his fingers glide over her swollen entrance. 

“Ben—“ She gasped out as she felt him press into her gently.

“Sweetheart, do you trust me?” He paused his fingers just barely inside her, just teasing at penetration. His eyes bore into hers, and she nodded in response, momentarily incapable of speech. “I’m going to try to soothe you, to take the edge off the soreness you feel. Then, I’m going to make love to you, Rey. Slow and sweet.”

“But Ben,” she stuttered, placing a hand on his chest to pause his movements, “I’m on your ship, with no explanation of how I got here. What if someone finds us?”

“See those doors?” His head gestured to the cold metal entrance to his quarters. “Only I can open them. No one can enter or exit this room without my express permission. No one will find you here. Within the confines of this room, you are safe” 

“So, does that make me your prisoner again?” 

His hand between her legs eased back to her stomach, rubbing back and forth between her hipbones, as he let out a breath. “If I would have had my way, you never would have been my prisoner back then. At least not in the traditional sense. I would have brought you to my quarters, let you wake up on your own, assure you you were safe. But I had already raised enough suspicion by taking you myself and not letting another soul touch you.” His eyes scanned her skin as if checking for marks from the chair still indented into her flesh after so many months, and once he found her only marred from his own mouth and hands, he continued. “And you are not my prisoner now. But I only trust a handful of people on this ship, and I use the word ‘trust’ loosely.” His lips found hers and pressed against them, molding to her mouth. She sighed against him, letting her eyes flutter closed. It was more a kiss of reassurance than of passion. “Rey, I don’t want to think about what lies outside this room right now. I don’t want to think about how I’m going to explain how the Jedi girl ended up in my bed. Or what our future holds. I just want to seize this moment.”

Rey laid down all her trepidation and cradled his face in her hands. “Then seize it, Ben. Seize me.”

Her fingers found his ears and hooked around them, yanking his face down to crush her lips to his. He responded greedily, tongue immediately parting her lips and delving into her mouth, wrapping around hers. His hand returned to the space between her thighs, cupping her heat. While his tongue conquered her mouth with a passion that made her blood feel thick and heavy, his fingers worked delicately. He carefully parted her folds, slowly swirling his fingers in the slick there and easing into her. She felt that warm, glowing sensation they had employed earlier, and the ache there eased a little. She smiled against his lips, a little giggle escaping.

“What?” he said as his teeth grazed her bottom lip.

“You are a quick study.” She rocked her hips against his fingers within her, making them slide in and out with a messy sound. He stuttered, and she felt him crook his fingers a little to nudge at that sweet spot at her front. The glowing warmth of his healing attempt disappeared, but it was replaced with a new heat, stoked with each stroke of his fingers. 

“I can’t finish healing you if you keep distracting me,” he teased, his lips kissing the dimple of her cheek on their trek to her neck. “You roll your hips like that and I lose all concentration. I want to make it feel good when I delve into this beautiful pussy again.”

“Feels good now,” she gasped as his hand cupped her to cover her clit. He rolled his palm against it while his fingers continued to stroke every ridge within her. In a heady voice, she whispered, “And I want to feel what you’ve done to me long after you’ve made me writhe and scream and you’ve filled me with every drop of you.”

She couldn’t help but feel a sense of smug pride when Ben swore in her head through their connection. She felt him struggle to maintain his composure, burying his face into the crook of her neck and slowing his fingers momentary as he fought the urge to come against her stomach at her words. “Force, Rey. I need to be inside you now.”

He thrust his fingers within her a few more times, hard and deep, before hiking her leg up by her knee. She felt him rub his thick shaft against her wetness, rolling his hips to mix the beaded pearl of wetness at his tip with her arousal. He kissed her deeply and desperately as he found her entrance and slowly sank into her. 

The sting was minimal now, just a stretch with an edge of discomfort before he was fully seated within her. Once there, he let his mouth do the moving, tongue rolling and lapping up her moans as he momentarily stilled his hips to let her ease around the size of him again.

He slowed his lips and pulled his head up. Rey opened her eyes to see Ben staring down at her. That golden connection they’d felt the first time they had come together radiated between them. It was a feeling of completeness unlike anything Rey had known before, and it brought tears to her eyes. They slid down her cheeks and painted the pillow beneath her head before Ben could wipe them away. His fingers found their way to her face and traced the little rivers before smudging them into her skin. 

_ Shhhh _ . The dulcet tone of his voice came trickling down their thread.  _ You have me now. You’ll never have to be alone again _ .

_ And neither will you _ , she sent back.  _ Make love to me, Ben. _

Her arms looped around his neck as he started to move, a slow drawback of his hips almost to the point of leaving her completely. They both sighed as he rocked back into her warmth. It felt like he was melting into her body, becoming one with her with every push, every stroke. 

In comparison to the desperate and dark passion of the previous night, Ben took his time. The drag of his cock, so heavy within her, was exquisite. His eyes locked with hers, holding them with his hypnotic gaze. The hue of them darkened to almost black and seemed to pierce into her very soul with every languorous stroke. As before, their bond rippled with shared sensation. She could feel his passion, the grip of her around him trying to pull him deeper into her body, his need to claim, to possess. But now there was a need surging forward, his need to worship and adore.

The sweet blend of that contradictory soul of his stoked her own need and desire as she wrapped her legs around his waist in a search for  _ closer _ and  _ more _ . They spoke without words, their ever-deepening connection guiding their motions before the other even had a chance to voice their needs. They climbed the mountain of bliss together, and when they crested the top, it was in tandem, with him seated deep within her and her milking his release from him. The golden string of their bond wrapped about them, and, for a brief moment, the whole universe seemed to pause. Then the world came rushing back with gasping breaths and cries of ecstasy and tears of joy.

Rey continued to gasp and twitch beneath him, riding her pleasure out to its full term. He moved within her in erratic strokes, pumping her full of him once more until his cock ceased it’s spasming and they both lay still, grasping one another to ground themselves. 

Ben’s forehead lay to rest on Rey’s, and he tilted his head to find her lips, which quivered, her whole body still shaking in the aftermath of their mutual bliss. 

“Kriff, Rey,” he spoke against her mouth. “I’m never letting you out of this bed. I’m just going to keep you here and discover every way I can make you come.”

She laughed as he nuzzled into her neck. “You have to let me out sometime. I need to, you know, eat. And I should probably clean up the mess you’ve made of me.”

“Now that,” he said, climbing off her and moving to the edge of the bed, “I think I can allow.” He threw the sheet off her and grabbed her ankles, dragging her to the edge of the bed as she let out a squeal. Once she was sitting on the edge, he leaned over her, trapping her between his arms. An almost feral growl escaped him. “Let’s get you all cleaned up so I can make a complete wreck of you again tonight.”

“Ben, you are completely—AH!” She let out a scream as he hefted her over his shoulder and carried her to the fresher. “Benjamin Solo, you put me down right now!”

Her sleep shirt bunched around her waist and was held in place by Ben’s strong arm around her middle, leaving her bottom exposed. She became acutely aware of that fact when Ben placed his large hand on the bare skin of her backside before giving it a smack. It was hard enough to feel the sting of skin-on-skin, but not so hard as to hurt. The shock of it still caused her to squeal in surprise and jolt against his hold before breaking into a fit of giggles as his hand smacked her again, light and playful, then landed back against her ass, squeezing the flesh there. 

The fresher within his quarters was as simple as the rest of his room. Black metal and the same bright panel lighting made everything feel cold and almost clinical. Ben placed her with care on the sink counter, the surface cool against her heated flesh. She watched him, all alabaster skin and solid muscle, as he walked over to start the shower. She tilted her head, suppressing a giggle by biting her lip, taking the opportunity to rake her eyes up and down his form in all its glory. 

“Are you checking out my ass?” He asked, looking back at her over his shoulder.

“Among other things,” she replied with a grin. “Just admiring the masterpiece that is Ben Solo naked.”

She saw his ears tint with pink from where they were hiding beneath his hair. “That’s something I need to address—”

“No, you don’t. I quite enjoy you naked.”

“No, Rey,” His tone took on an air of seriousness. “My name. Or rather, what you call me. Within the confines of this room, I am Ben. And I will always be Ben for you when we are in private. But beyond these walls, I’m Supreme Leader Ren. I’ll make it clear to everyone that you and you alone may call me Kylo instead of a more formal address—”

“But only outside your room.” She playfully quirked an eyebrow at him. “Never within these walls? Never in the bedroom?”

She felt his brain short circuit, little jolts of arousal and downright confusion skipping along their bond. “I… umm… well…” he stuttered. 

She let a devilish smile quirk her lips as she hopped down from the sink before narrowing her eyes at him. She puffed her chest up and strode up to press herself flush against the wide expanse of him, fists pounding lightly on his chest. In a seductive voice, filled with feigned venom, she said, “No, Kylo Ren! I’ll never give up the secrets of the Resistance. You can take me as your captive, use my body to your will, but I’ll never tell!”

He let out a low, dark laugh. “Oh, you want to play that game,” he said as his eyes shifted, going dark as night. She sucked in a breath as he grasped her wrists and backed her up against the sink, pinning them to the cold metal at her sides before growling in her ear, “Oh, Scavenger. I think you will. I think you’ll scream those secrets when I bury my cock in your cunt and fuck them out of you.”

They stared at one another, chests heaving and the electric spark between them making the air feel charged, as if one flicker more would set them both ablaze. But instead of igniting their passion again, Ben let his hands relax on her wrists and found her hips, thumbs slowly rubbing in circles. She closed her eyes and let her head fall forward at the sensation. He placed a kiss to the top of her head. “That is a fantasy we will have to revisit someday, if you'll indulge me.”

She brought her arms up to wrap around his neck. “One of these days, you’ll come back to find me bound at the wrists on your bed, spitting insults at you when you walk in the door.”

He made a noise that was a strangled mix of a grunt and a whimper. “If you are still wanting to kill me, that would be the way to do it.”

“Duly noted,” she said, letting her fingers play with the hair curling at his neck. “But I think you should make good on your concession to let me shower.”

He placed a quick kiss on her forehead. “It’s not my fault someone is a minx and distracted me.” He helped her lift her sleep shirt over her head, taking her hand to lead her to the shower. 

The spray of the water, hot and soothing, felt like some kind of divinity. Sonic showers were much more common at the base, and water had been a precious commodity growing up. Steam filled her lungs as she stood beneath the spray, letting a moan escape from her as the water crept into her hair and warmed her skin, washing away the sweat and grime. When she wiped the drops from her eyes, she noted Ben leaning against the wall of the shower, watching her with arms crossed and a grin on his face. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re staring at me, Ben. What?”

“Well, you’re very naked,” he teased as he pushed himself off the wall, crossing to her. “But it’s just… the simplest things make you happy.” He ran his fingers through her wet hair, helping to detangle some of the knots he’d put there. “It’s just a shower, something I do every day, but to you… I realize how special it must be.”

“Well, water was too important to waste on Jakku.” She let her hands rest on his chest as he stepped into the spray with her. “Even now, I’m fighting the guilt for letting something so precious wash down the drain simply for my enjoyment.”

Ben wrapped his arms about her protectively, holding her tight and angling her so the water hit her back. “You don’t have to worry about that here. You don’t have to worry about water or where your next meal will come from, whether you are safe—”

“I’m the Resistance’s Jedi on a First Order ship,” she stated, pulling herself back to give him a doubtful look. “I don’t know how safe I actually am.”

“No, you  _ are  _ safe. Anyone who would want to cause you harm will have to go through me.” His voice was soft, but there was something almost feral in it, that possessive edge he loved to unleash sneaking out and wrapping about his words. “You’re mine now. And as such, I want to care for you. I want you to sleep without nightmares and never feel hunger or loneliness again. And above all, I will keep you safe. I swear.” 

The passion that burned in his eyes rooted her to the spot. That need to protect enveloped her, cascading down the bond, and she let it take hold of her. It was a sensation of warmth, and it whispered to her, in the voice she’d been hearing since she was a child, to just let go. And so she did, laying her face back against his chest and letting him surround her with his arms and his need to protect and possess. To her surprise, she didn’t feel weak or subservient as she had feared she would if she ever relinquished her control. She simply felt cared for, adored. And, dare she hope, loved. 

He released her enough to reach for a bottle on the ledge of the shower. He poured a little into his hand before lathering the woodsy-smelling soap into her hair and massaging it into her scalp. She hummed and closed her eyes as he helped her tilt her head back, washing the soap from her hair. 

“I’m going to smell like you,” she said, her voice a little drowsy.

“And I find that oddly arousing,” he confessed with a chuckle. “But later, you can pick something that’s more to your tastes. For now, I figured we should just get you clean.”

He gathered more soap in his hands before turning her and pulling her flush against him. The thick lather that coated his palms soon covered her arms and chest, slowly dripping down her stomach as his hands came to cup her breasts. “I have not paid these nearly enough attention,” he said in her ear as his hands went to work massaging the soap into her skin. His fingers grazed her nipples, and she arched into his touch. His thumb and forefinger worked them into hardened peaks, rolling the dusky buds in the slippery soap as Rey’s eyes rolled to the back of her head. That twisting, tingling sensation was igniting again in her belly, and she laid her hands on top of his to guide them, helping him squeeze and knead how she wanted. 

“I know there’s not much there--” she started, her voice breathy and heady.

His lips pressed to the juncture of her shoulder and neck. “They’re perfect.” He pinched her nipples one more time, eliciting a small cry from her. “And later I fully intend to prove that to you, but right now...” He trailed off as his hands snaked down her stomach and came to rest between her thighs.

“Oh, Ben!” she moaned. “What are you—”

“I’m getting you cleaned up, sweetheart.” He rubbed the soapy lather up and down the insides of her thighs, washing away the spend and sweat from her skin. “You’re a mess down here.”

He angled her to allow the warm stream of water to beat against her chest and remove the suds. “And whose fault is that?” she scolded lightly.

“Mine,” he growled, turning her in his arms. “My fault, and I’ve never felt such a surge of pride.  _ Mine _ .” And his lips were on hers again, kissing to devour as he backed her against the wall of the shower and trapped her there with the weight of his body and the heat of his mouth.

Rey undulated against him in small motions, her body barely able to move with him pressing her against the wall harder with every swipe of his tongue against hers. She wound her fingers in his hair and nudged his head to the side, feeling his mouth continue to take every part of her skin that was allowed to him. He had the lobe of her ear in between his lips when she whispered out, “On your knees.”

He released her ear with a pop and pulled back to stare at her. “Did you just say--”

“On your knees, Ben.” She grinned, completely enjoying the look of shock that washed over him. “You say I’m yours. And I am. But that makes you mine. And, as such, I want to care for you.” She repeated his words back to him with a quirk of a smile. “And I can’t very well do that with you towering over me, Mr. Overgrown Tree.” She reached for the same bottle of soap he’d used to wash her body. “So, on your knees.”

“Whatever my goddess wants…” He slid down to the floor, perhaps a little too slowly, and Rey felt the heat of his stare as his eyes raked down her body as he came to his knees before her. She ran her soapy fingers through his dark hair, scrubbing at his scalp and guiding the suds to fall down the broad expanse of his shoulders and back. She helped him angle toward the spray, as he had done for her, and the water cleansed him of the soap and sweat. She watched, transfixed, as the water created small rivers that trailed and crossed along the scars marring his back. Her fingers nimbly traced a few of the white and pink lines that crossed his shoulder blades, wishing she could be like her dream-self and heal him of all the sorrow of his past. 

He looked up at her then, having heard her desire as clearly as if she’d spoken it aloud. He kissed the soft skin of her stomach tenderly and with a kind of careful reverence. “Are you sure you aren’t actually a goddess? Or maybe an Angel?” he breathed against her skin.

She bit down on her lip to suppress a laugh. “Angels only exist on Iego. And I seem to be missing my wings if I am one.” 

“Truly my goddess, then.” His hands found her thighs, trailing his fingers up and down her legs before coming to rest at the sensitive skin just above the backs of her knees. She shivered at his touch, despite the steam from the water, and she knew he had felt it echo down their thread because he let out a pleased sort of laugh before laying his cheek to the flat of her stomach, pushing her gently to the wall again with his weight. She relaxed against the slick stone, carding her fingertips through his wet tresses and hugging him to her body.

When his fingers started to wander, creeping up her legs and drawing to their juncture, she let out a little delighted squeal, though she tried to wriggle from his grasp. “Ben, maybe we should get out now.”

He grunted in denial as his hands grasped her tightly to keep her in his reach, then nuzzled his face into her stomach, lips moving to kiss each rib in turn, followed by her hip bones. As he placed a hot, wet kiss just above her curls, his fingers slipped between her legs, opening her legs wider and grazing her slit. She grabbed his face in her hands and turned it up so she could look at him, her words coming out a bit strangled as he started to tease the slickness he found at her center that had nothing to do with the shower. “Ben, you are not going to try to make me come again.” 

“Oh, I’m not going to try, sweetheart,” he stated with smug arrogance, lifting one of her legs up over his shoulder, bringing his gaze to the glistening pink of her sex now open to him. “I’m going to succeed. You were the one who wanted me on my knees after all.” 

Hasty kisses trailed along her thigh as Rey braced her hands against the wall, gasping out his name when Ben’s hot mouth enveloped her. Once he’d found that jewel at her center, he wasted no time before worrying it with his tongue. He traced the seam of it within the hood with the smallest and most delicate of movements, and when he reached the top, he hit a spot that made her knees buckle. Her throat made no noise when she tried to voice her pleasure, so she tried to communicate through the bond. But even that came out as a garbled, strangled cry in their heads. He chuckled at that, and his hot breath against her skin made her pulse, her hips beginning to rock, following the heat of his mouth. 

But yet, he paused, pulling himself back, watching her writhe and grind at the air. She threw her head back and let out a whimper. “Karking bastard. You just want to hear me beg again”

“I do enjoy that,” he said, his large, warm palm working up her stomach to rest just below her breasts, fingers splayed and grazing the undersides of them. “But I also just love watching how you move, how you seek my touch.” He pressed against her, kneading slightly but holding her secure to the wall. His hand practically spanned her entire torso, and some primal part of her brain took over, which was only coaxed along when Ben curled two fingers against her folds, slicking them in her wetness before pushing into her warmth. 

Rey cried out as his thick fingers speared into her, quick, rough motions that stole the breath from her lungs. The fire within her belly was growing at an astonishing pace, and when Ben added his mouth back to his amorous assault, she felt she might burst into flames in spite of the shower water surrounding her. Her legs began to tremble with the effort of holding herself up as his tongue swirled and caressed her swollen bud. Without ceasing his attentions, Ben spoke to her through their bond.  _ It’s all right, sweetheart. I have you. _ His voice seemed to caress her mentally, a mimic of the physical action of his tongue.  _ Let go, Rey. I’ll catch you. _

She let out a sob at his words. Yes, he had her physically. She could release her weight over to him, and her strong lover doing wicked things to her body would hold her up and not let her fall in her passion. But, so tied together by their strange fate, she knew he  _ had _ her. She could drop her guard completely and let go with him, so predisposed as he was to understand her like no one else. She could lay her very life in his hands and he’d protect it fiercely, as if his very soul depended on it. 

Because, deep-down, the Force whispered to her that it did. They were irrevocably bonded, destinies and lives sewn together with that red thread that nothing could sever. Them coming together as they had last night… and that morning… had only cemented what had been in place since her very birth. She had been born with Ben’s name already imprinted in her soul. 

And so she let go. And Ben caught her, as she knew he always would. 

She screamed as she fell, then climbed a little higher and fell again. It came in waves like the ocean kissing the shore. Her body seized and pulsed and writhed with each new crest, and Ben held her tight, riding them out with her, seeing her through to the end. When the tides receded, he let her slip down the wall and into his arms. 

She lay there, breathless and flushed, heart pounding a furious rhythm against the confines of her chest. Blissed out and dazed, she was vaguely aware of Ben kissing her forehead and running his fingers through her wet hair. Somehow, he acquired a small towel and wiped the sweat from her face and chest, wetting it again to clean the mess of her orgasm from her and himself. Another soft towel wrapped about her and she was again in Ben’s arms, being carried back to the large bed. He laid her upon it, and she buried her face in the pillow, his scent enveloping her and making her eyelids heavy. 

  
_ Sleep, my love, _ he whispered to her softly. The last thing she felt before slumber claimed her consciousness was Ben’s lips sweetly pressed to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, kudos keep me going and comments feed my soul!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey discuss what to do about their situation and how to move forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience in this update! 
> 
> [Andabatae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andabatae) is the best and most patient beta ever and I adore her. 
> 
> Trigger Warning: This chapter contains mention of Ben's past with Snoke that can be classified as sexual abuse. There is nothing graphic, but it could be triggering. Basically it involves being forced to visit brothels. If you are worried, please contact me with questions and I can explain further.

This time it was the warm, comforting smell of caf that roused Rey from her slumber. She stretched, reaching her arms up over her head, letting her feet slide against the soft, dark gray sheets and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. 

“Good morning,” a deep, rich voice spoke.

She turned her head, reaching down to hold the towel to her body. Ben was reclining against the pillows next to her, black sleep pants hanging loosely on his hips and a simple black shirt now covering his broad chest. The mug held in his hands was the source of that intoxicating smell, and Rey perked up as she took another deep inhale. 

“Mornin’,” she mumbled, pushing herself up on her elbows.

“Actually, more like afternoon.” Ben leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. “But I didn’t dare wake you.” He reached for another mug that lay on his bedside table and handed it to her as she sat up and snuggled next to him. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever slept so well. Which is crazy, considering where I am.” She brought the cup to her nose and hummed contentedly at the aroma. “But, I guess four orgasms in less than twelve hours will do that to a person.” She gave him a smirk, pressing her lips to the mug to sip. 

“I mean, we could go for a fifth, if you think you still need some rest?” His voice seemed to resonate from somewhere deep in his chest, making her quiver a little, and he pulled her tighter against him. She listened to his heart beating against her ear, feeling the heat from the caf warm her fingers before sipping the rich, dark liquid.

“You snore, you know,” Ben spoke softly against her hair. 

She choked a little, dribbling the caf down her chin. She felt her cheeks flush as she tried to gingerly dab away the liquid with the edges of her towel. “I do not!”

“You absolutely do.” He tilted her face to help clean the expelled caf off her chin. “When you are deeply asleep. But it’s soft and quiet. And adorable.” He pressed his lips to hers, which were firmly set into a line of indignation.

But she softened into the embrace, allowing his tongue entrance when it lapped at the seam of her mouth. The taste of caf mingled on her tongue with the masculine taste of him that she knew now she would never tire of. 

“Just you wait, Ben Solo,” she spoke against his lips. “I’ll get all the dirt on you one day.”

“And I’ll gladly spill my secrets if it means keeping you in my bed.” 

His lips began to wander again. He lapped at the spot below her ear, and she knew that if she didn’t bring up what they had both been avoiding since she’d woken in his bedroom that morning, transported halfway across the galaxy by the Force, she’d find herself beneath him as he unraveled her yet again. “Of course, that’s all assuming that I’m staying here.”

His lips stopped their attentions, and he lifted his eyes to hers, wide and suddenly sad. “Aren’t you?”

“Ben, I disappeared in the middle of the night. I can’t even imagine what the Resistance must be thinking right now, waking to find my bunk empty.” She pulled her gaze to his shirt, fingers playing idly with the soft fabric. “I don’t have my saber or my staff… or even my clothes. And if I step outside those doors, what do you really think will happen? Ben, I can’t stay here. The thought is insane.”

“No, it’s not.” His grip on her tightened, as though he was afraid the bond would carry her away from him now that she was having doubts. “Nothing you have mentioned so far is something I can’t remedy. Or that we can’t remedy together.”

“Ben—“

“No, listen, Rey. You’re missing your saber? I’ll help you build a new one. I’m partly responsible for breaking your other one, anyway. If we can find a crystal that truly speaks to you, it’ll work better than my Grandfather’s did.”

“Better?” 

“Yes. And I think we could even make it a saberstaff. You’d be lethal combining your agility with a staff and a lightsaber. We’ll train together. We’ll improve each other.”

“I’d like that, actually,” she spoke into his chest quietly. 

“And we’ll get you new clothes.” His fingertips stroked her hair gently, smoothing away the tangles caused by falling asleep with wet tresses. “Whatever kind of clothes you want—simple leggings and tunics that you are used to, extravagant, elegant dresses... anything. Though I might sneak in a few things for my own enjoyment—“

She poked him firmly in the chest at that. “I wonder how the other officers would feel about you using First Order funds to commission lingerie…”

“Kriffing jealous,” he spat out with amusement. “But really, they should encourage it. I’m sure I’ll be much less prone to fits of forcechoking when I know I have you waiting for me in bed, wearing nothing but a scrap of black lace.”

“Naughty, naughty man,” she scolded, pulling away a little to face him and look him square in the eyes. “But those are the least of my worries. The fact remains that I am a Resistance member on First Order ship.” Rey took a deep breath, knowing the next part might be harsh, but hoping he’d understand her worry. “And I will not be a captive, a kept woman locked away in this room the whole time to serve your pleasure.” She placed a finger on his lips to stop him speaking. “Even  _ if _ waiting for you to ravage me in black lace is appealing.”

He kissed the finger at his lips and then pulled it away. “I didn’t mean it like that. You are not a kept woman, and you won’t ever be. You're my Rey. My bondmate, my light, and damn anyone who tries to pull us asunder.” Ben seized the mug from her hand and placed both hers and his to the side. “I’ll walk out those doors with you on my arm right now. I’ll present you as my equal, my Empress, and cut down anyone who objects.”

“Ben, I can’t rule with you…” The words died away as his insistence and his passion pulled at her heart, letting that trickle of doubt that had crept into her mind after his first proposal spread.

“But I’ll also say this, Rey.” He tilted her chin up and let his fingertips trail along her jawline. “If you really want to leave, you’re free to go. I won’t stand in your way this time. We can go back to being on opposite sides of this conflict. This can be but a sweet memory, if you wish.”

“Ben—” she started, but he continued.

“But, Rey, I don’t want just the memory. I want  _ more _ .” He took both her hands in his and placed them to his chest, where she felt his heart thunder and his breath catch. “ _ Stay with me _ . Please. I need you by my side. I realized that you bring out something in me that… well, you seem to help me stay focused. You don’t let the Dark cloud my mind. So stay. Be my light, my counselor, my voice of reason.”

“But as Empress?” She looked up at him, trying to send him all her fear and trepidation in a single glance. “Ben, I—”

“Rey, you’d be perfect as Empress.” He cupped her face then, and his smile melted her heart. “You know what it’s like to suffer and starve. You’ve seen the underbelly of the galaxy. And because of that, you’d see issues and problems in a light that I am just not capable of. But I do mean it when I say I’m not asking you to rule with me if you don’t want to. But together, Rey, I  _ know _ we can remold this world to something better.”

“If you listen to me,” she said pointedly. “If you listen to the people and what they really need, not just what you think they may want. Or what suits the Empire’s pleasure and expands their credits.”

His hands went up in surrender. “That’s what I want to change. I’ll listen. And that’s exactly why I need you. Keep me level-headed and on the path for what’s best for all. And smack me or threaten that I’ll sleep on the couch if I’m doing something remarkably stupid.”

“Ooh, I can challenge you to a dual  _ and _ withhold sex.” She bit her thumb in delight, feeling that little spike of arousal from him at the gesture. It made a smile curl at her lips. “The power that I wield!”

“That would be the surest way to get me to comply. Kick my ass and then tell me I can’t have yours.” He leaned in, and his hands wrapped around her to grasp at her bottom. She swatted him away, scooting back just a bit.

“So.” She tapped her finger to the tip of her nose playfully. “The fate of the galaxy rests in whether or not I let you into our bed?”

He nodded. “See, I may be the Emperor, but Empress or not, you’re really the one with all the power.” His hands went for her waist this time, and his fingers gathered the towel, pulling her to him slowly, mouth dipping towards hers. 

She let him place a gentle kiss to her lips before pulling back and placing her hands on his chest to hold him at a distance. “Still… Empress in name or simply behind the scenes… Ben, it’s just never the life I’ve seen for myself.”

He readjusted himself on the bed as he thought. “So what about this. What if our rule wouldn’t be forever?” Rey tilted her head, giving him a quizzical look. “Help me establish this New Order—however you wish to be involved. Let’s work to set everything on the right path and then, I swear, we’ll release the reins. Go teach force sensitives how to balance the Light and Dark or just disappear to some secluded planet where no one knows our names and ravage each other till the end of our days.”

Her fingers twisted his shirt, and she rolled her lips between her teeth as she thought. Perhaps she did have all the power. She had this man wrapped around her finger. She merely needed to suggest something and he would attempt to make it so. She didn’t want to manipulate him, but he’d asked her to keep him in check. Perhaps she could sway him and use this power to help bring the First Order and the Resistance to a kind of peace that would be a middle ground for all involved. It was worth a shot. 

And if part of that was being fucked into the mattress nightly by her sexy dark paramour… well, that was one hell of a perk. The Force  _ did _ bring them together, after all...

“Before we decide to be Emperor and Empress of all, how about we try to live in the same space and not kill each other first?” She smiled at him as she stroked his cheek. “Take this all one day at a time.”

“Live in the same space,” he repeated. His eyes lit up, hope igniting in them, changing in hue to a honey-gold. “Does that mean…”

She nodded shyly, and with that little nod, Ben all but stopped breathing. The elation that radiated from him from their tether nearly knocked her over. It flooded her body, warming her from the inside and making her feel giddy. And then he tackled her, his mouth colliding with hers as his hands grasped her face, knocking her over and pressing her into the pillows. She kissed him back, drunk on his joy and the weight of him on top of her. She found her legs instinctually cradling his hips, and he pressed into her, bunching the towel up to her waist. When his hands trailed to undo the knot the held the fabric to her body, she made a moan of protest, giving him a small shove to lift his mouth from hers. “You are always ready to go, aren’t you?”

“For you, always,” he panted. “You’re staying with me. I get to keep you and I want to celebrate—”

“I’m willing to  _ try _ . To see if we can actually make this work.” She gazed up at him, and she felt that he was trembling on the edge of his restraint, but he waited for her to continue. “Ben, I’m basically entrusting my life to you. This will not go over well… with either side.”

“As my consort, you’ll have a certain amount of protection, merely by title— whatever you wish that to be,” he promised, hands trailing up and lacing in her hair behind her head. “And until we get you a saber, I’ll be there to take care of the rest.”

“And after?” She quirked an eyebrow.

“After, I think my warrior goddess can defend herself. Yet, I’ll still be there to ensure that no harm befalls you.”

She played with his hair and traced the curves of his ears. “And… I want to talk to the Resistance. I don’t want them to be worried sick about me disappearing, and then be blindsided when you announce me as your companion.”

He pressed his mouth together in thought, rolling his lips between his teeth. A sigh escaped, but he nodded. “No, it’s only fair they should get a warning that I’ve stolen their Jedi.” His voice dropped at the end of his thought, and he leaned in, aiming for her mouth again. Instead of receiving his kiss, she pursed her lips and smacked him on the head, a bit harder than she intended. “Ouch!” he cried out as she narrowed her eyes at him. “And know you are safe, of course. But I’m going to ensure the transmission is masked. They won’t be able to trace it to find you and surprise us with an unnecessary rescue mission. And no one here will be able to use it to find them. Safe for all involved.”

“Fair enough.” She bit her tongue and steeled herself for what she needed to ask next. He felt her trepidation and kissed her forehead. 

“You have one more request, don’t you?” He pressed his forehead to hers where his lips had just caressed. “I just agreed to allow you a direct line of communication to the quote-unquote enemy. Name your terms. Anything you desire. It’s yours.”

She took a deep breath, grabbing his chin to make her look at him. “You’re talking with your mother.”

She had prepared herself for his wrath. She expected his temper to burst forth at her request, and for him to turn some unsuspecting piece of furniture into a pile of rubble. And while she felt an initial spike of anger from him, it melted almost as quickly as it came. Instead of fury and rage, a deep sadness filled his fathomless eyes. She felt that churning conflict begin to rise within him. Longing mingled with embarrassment, which all swirled with betrayal of many colors. He buried his face in her neck for a moment, hugging her tightly, before retreating to the other side of the bed. His shoulders slumped, and he buried his face in his hands. “That, my dear, may be something I have to deny you.”

Rey sat up, readjusting her towel from where he had tugged at it earlier. “Ben. She misses you.”

He snorted, but there was a sadness in his tone that made her heart clench. “I doubt that.”

“You know she does.” She crawled over to where he sat on the bed and wrapped her arms around him from behind. He stiffened at her touch, but she just held him tighter, burying her face into the place between his shoulder blades and laying kisses there until she felt him relax. His hands found hers as they clutched at his chest, taking them in his own. “Ben, I know there is blame on both sides. There is a lot to forgive and a lot to be forgiven—”

“You can’t even begin to imagine,” Ben interjected softly. “You think I just threw everything away. But, Rey, there is so much more.” And his voice broke, unable to continue. 

He was hurt. Hurt and angry and ashamed. Those emotions all but burned her veins as they radiated from his broken soul. And so she sought to soothe. “Maybe I can’t imagine,” she said softly. “But I know heartbreak. I know rejection and abandonment and loneliness.” She pulled herself up to her knees and rested her chin on his shoulder. “And I’ll listen. I’ll listen to whatever you want to tell me, whatever you need to say, without judgement. I’ll try to understand.” 

There was a long pause. Rey didn’t dare move as he thought. There were so many emotions swirling around him that it made her dizzy. Yet she stayed pressed to his body, giving him an anchor that he clung to. At last, she felt a tentative, uncertain resolve form in his mind, and he drew a shaky breath. “If I do this, Rey,” he said as his hands trembled a little in hers, “I’ll need your strength… I’ll need you to be by my side. On my side.” 

“I’ll stand with you,” she whispered in his ear, a small smile on her lips. 

She felt some of the gloom lift from his heart at that. She placed a kiss on his cheek, feeling the corner of his mouth turn up. A trickle of mischief flickered along their thread, but Rey registered it a second too late to anticipate his actions. He turned his body enough to grab her with one strong arm. She squealed as she found herself airborne— Ri’ia, how could he lift her with one arm as if she weighed nothing?— and flipped her to land firmly in his lap, dipped in his embrace. 

“Fine. I’ll do it,” he said begrudgingly. “But I still doubt anything good will come of it.”

“It might,” she said, tugging at his shirt to bring his face closer to hers, “if you are both willing to listen and forgive.”

He pointed his finger at her in a slightly scolding fashion. “No promises, sweetheart.” When she made a move to speak again he stopped her mouth, swallowing her words with a deep, passionate kiss that left her boneless in his arms. 

His tongue lavishly searched her mouth as he tipped her back, twisting them to land again against the pillows. She made a small cry into his mouth—a sort of exasperated giggle— when he moved on top of her again. “I can't help it,” he said, pulling himself up from ravishing her mouth. “You taste too good.”

She smiled, feeling her cheeks heat. She stole a look at the chrono on his bedside table. “It’s kind of late to still be in bed. Don’t you have Supreme Leader-y stuff to do?” 

He shook his head, his fingers idley tracing the curve of her shoulder. “I told Hux to kark off. To send anything truly important to my holopad and not to bother me for the rest of the day. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve locked myself away with little to no explanation. Of course,” he said, his fingers again plaing at the knot on her towel, which she batted away playfully, “once they all know about you, the smarter ones might put two and two together that my explanation for staying in today, and I assume many days in the future, was near-continuous sex with my unbearably beautiful consort.”

Her blush deepened, and she grabbed his face, cupping it to keep him from putting those lips on her skin and undoing her. “Oh, you think now that I’ve agreed to stay, you’ll just camp out between my legs?”

“Well, I wasn’t before, but now…” He split her thighs in one smooth motion and settled between them as he pinned her wrists to the bed. She laughed and tried to wriggle from his grasp in a struggle that was all for show as she purposely ground herself against him as she squirmed. He let a strained breath puff out, eyes going dark as he rode the wave of her body. “I believe I promised you a fifth orgasm?”

“No, you  _ suggested _ a fifth. As a sedative, I may remind you.” 

“Promise. Suggest… Semantics. I’m a man of my word—”

His head dipped, and she felt his mouth begin to nip at the knot of her towel yet again. Just as she felt it begin to loosen, her stomach let out an embarrassingly loud grumble that stopped his motions. She stifled a giggle and stated, “But apparently my body is telling you that I require something more than caf if you want me to not pass out at my next climax.” 

The grumble of her stomach seemed to shift something in him, and his voice became serious, his hand dropping to her stomach to rub it gently. “Of course. No. I’m being selfish. What kind of partner am I proving to be if I ignore your needs in lieu of my desire?” With a quick kiss, he pulled himself off of her and went to his closet, rummaging through a drawer until he pulled out what must be a tank top he used when training, tossing it to her. “You need something to wear, at least for now. This will probably be huge on you, but I promise it’s clean. We’ll work on getting you some clothes after we eat.”

She stood and let the towel pool on the floor at her feet. She felt his eyes on her, raking up and down her naked body until she pulled the shirt over her head. It  _ was _ huge on her, so she twisted the straps and one side each in a knot to tighten it. It hugged her slight curves and formed in a way that was almost like a dress. “So?” She twirled for him.

“Kriff, Rey,” he groaned out, crossing to her and grabbing at her hips, pulling her to him. “You in black may just be how I die.”

“Maybe I’ll allow a few of those items we get me to be black. You know, so I fit in.” Her fingers walked up his chest to lock behind his head. “Oh, and we’re definitely getting that ‘scrap of black lace’ thing you were talking about. I have plans for that.”

“Stop talking about black lace, or I will take you against that wall right now.” His voice was low and oh so dangerous. A heated breath escaped him as he laid his forehead to hers and his hands strained at her waist. “I promised you food. Ravaging you against every surface of this room will have to wait until you are fed.”

Her breath caught, and she felt her eyes well with tears. She squeezed them shut and willed them not to fall, but one escaped anyway. Ben brushed it away with his thumb and, softly, he said, “And I know I expressed that in the shower, but that is something else I promise you. I know you’ve known what it’s like to starve for far too long. As long as you are with me, you will never know hunger again.”

“Ben, I—” she started but he pressed a finger to her lips to silence her. 

“No. Don’t even try to thank me for such a simple thing, something so basic that you were deprived of. And I know there is more pain than just hunger in your past.” His arms wrapped a protective cage about her. “And I swear, if I ever come across those that hurt you—”

She could feel the anger starting to boil through him. It radiated from him like the heat off his body, vibrating the air around her. She pressed herself to his chest, placing her hand over his pounding heart, and focused on sending him calm. Almost immediately, she felt that violent, dark tremor in the Force subside. The beat of his heart slowed, and his signature stopped its tumultuous churning. “Yes, you’ll rip them apart with your bare hands and burn the planet you discover them on to ash to avenge me.” She smiled into his chest. “None of which is needed now.”

“How did you—” he stuttered.

“How did I calm the Kylo-beast?” She shrugged in his arms. “I just  _ knew. _ It was instinct.”

“And that, my goddess of light, is precisely why I need you,” He spoke into her hair before placing a kiss into it. “Now come.” He took her hand and led her to a table in the corner of his room, pulling out her chair for her as she sat down. “Food. Clothes. Holopad. Wall-ravaging. In that order.” 

Her cup of caf was soon back in her hands, somehow still delightfully warm. She sipped it as she watched Ben send for food, fretting in his typical, overly-dramatic fashion over the quantity he should get to keep her sufficiently fed, and then ordering enough food to feed a small army. When it arrived, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Fruits she couldn’t name, meats she could only guess as to the animal it came from, breads of all kinds. She just stared for a moment at the feast in front of her. 

“Ben, this is too much. There is no way we can eat all this,” she admonished. 

“Then I know you’ll be able to eat your fill.” His hands rested on her shoulders. “And I can hear you thoughts, Rey. Don’t worry. We’ll save the rest. I can think of a few ways we can work up an appetite.” A roguish wiggle of his eyebrows melted down to an equally roguish smirk, and then he began piling a plate for her. 

Rey sighed. “Ben, I’m perfectly capable of serving myself.” 

He batted her hand away from trying to help as he dished up a towering pile of panna cakes. “I know, but… just humor me, Rey.” He set the plate down before her. “Let me continue to take care of you. Let me be ridiculous and spoil you. At least for today. And after today, we can find a more realistic rhythm.” He bent over, dropping his voice. “But you  _ are _ mine. I may never stop spoiling you. So you might want to get used to it.”

Rey narrowed her eyes at him. “Ben, you are completely ridicu—” But then he raised a slice of some foreign fruit to her mouth and slipped it between her lips. The flavor exploded on her tongue, making her moan in an utterly obscene way as her eyes fluttered closed. Her hand flew to cover her mouth as she chewed and savored the saccharine syrup that burst with every bite. When she opened her eyes, they were greeted by Ben’s, pupils blown wide with lust as they tracked every flicker of her tongue and movement of her jaw. He slowly brought another slice to her mouth, and she opened to let him lay the fruit delicately on her tongue. With a flicker of mischief in her eyes, she leaned forward enough to capture his thumb with her teeth, eyes locked to his as she wrapped her lips around the pad of it, drinking the syrupy sweetness from his digit.

He pulled his thumb from her mouth’s grasp, eliciting a slick pop, before he surged forward to seal his lips to hers. “You are truly going to be the death of me, woman,” he said before pushing himself away from her with difficulty. “Now eat. I won’t have you fainting away on me.”

Rey didn’t need to be told twice. She dug into the pile of food before her, ripping a panna cake apart and dunking it in the syrup that had pooled beside it before shoving it in her mouth. Strips of some crisped meat followed, along with more of the fruit Ben had fed her. So much new food was piled before her that she wanted to taste and explore. And that ingrained instinct sprung forward, telling her to get as much as she could while it was available to her. After a moment, with her fingers sticky with syrup and her cheeks stuffed to capacity, she paused and contemplated how silly that thought was now. Ben had only pressed a button, and a feast had arrived within minutes. She glanced up at Ben, who was looking at her with his mouth agape. She struggled to swallow the mass of food forced into her face, shrugging as she mumbled out a, “What?”

“I started out wanting to bend you over this table to teach you a lesson for turning me on with a piece of fruit.” He paused, picking up his knife and fork, to cut up his own panna cake. “And now I want to teach you an actual lesson about how to use cutlery.”

A large gulp cleared the food so she could speak. “I know how to use cutlery,” she snarked to him. Glancing at him with half-moon eyes, she picked up the fork and knife and held them like weapons, using them as such to stab and attack her panna cake. A mangled portion large enough to spear on her fork was salvaged from the carnage, and she brought it, on an upside down fork held in a tight fist, up to her mouth. An attempt to slowly and sensually slide it off the utensil backfired when it slipped from her lips and fell back to the plate. 

Ben burst into a roar of laughter, nearly falling off his chair. Though he was technically laughing  _ at _ her, something in Rey’s chest tightened to hear such a deep and free roll of joy come barreling out of him. So it was a bit of an act that she put on as she placed her fork down and pouted at him. He rubbed the tears that had collected at the corners of his eyes as he reached out to take her hand, ignoring the stickiness of it. “I think I preferred you diving in and stuffing your face.” He took a napkin and gently dabbed the corners of her mouth before tilting her chin up. “It’s actually quite endearing. I don’t care how you eat, as long as you do. But—” He handed her the napkin and went back to his own food—“we will be working on your skills with silverware before—”

“Before what, Mister ‘I eat like I was raised in a palace’?” She washed down her bite with a large gulp of caf, gesticulating with her free hand to mock his all-too-formal hold on his fork and knife. “It’s not like you’re going to be taking me to a ball or anything.”

“Well, should you decide to actually be my Empress—”

“Which I haven’t decided on.”

“Which I know you haven't made a decision on, there would be a coronation of sorts. And even if you are just my consort, there will be parties and diplomatic events. All of which I would want you to be at. And where you should be able to wield a knife like a knife and not a lightsaber. And dance. And wear a dress that’s not made of my shirt.”

“Yes, your highness.” Rey stuck her tongue out at him playfully and took another swig of caf. 

He smirked from behind his own mug. “I know you’re teasing me, but you do know I am technically a prince, right?”

Ben probably regretted his retort as he was sprayed by Rey’s second spit take of the morning, this one a bit more explosive than the first. “Sorry. Kriff.” She scrambled up to her feet to cross to him, napkin in hand. “But, how are you…”

“My mother,” he started as she dabbed the caf from his face, “was the adopted Princess of Alderaan before my grandfather destroyed it. And my grandmother was the Queen of Naboo, though they vote in their monarchy, so that doesn’t hold as much weight.” He looked up and must have seen her staring at him with mouth agape. He took the napkin from her hands and grabbed her by the hips, sitting her on his lap. “Rey, it’s not like that. I’m a prince by adoption over some space ash.”

“But still… You  _ are _ Emperor. And you want me, a scavenger girl from Jakku, to rule by your side as your Empress.” He hummed his approval into her shoulder as he kissed the freckles that dusted her skin there. “Ben, I feel like I’m in a fantasy story for children.” She stabbed at the food on his plate, managing to collect a few pieces of meat on the fork. Her voice took on a whimsical tone as she used the utensil to conduct the story she began to concoct. “The dark Prince of Ash captures the Scavenger Girl—”

“That sounds more like the start of an erotic romance for adults,” he interrupted, taking the fork from her hand and bringing it up to her lips. 

“Well, if our morning is any basis for the plot...” She smiled brightly and let him feed her, wrapping her lips around the fork tightly as he withdrew it from her mouth. She locked eyes with him and enjoyed his groan. 

“I could inspire volumes with you,” he said, voice deep. “But first, let's make you feel more like that heroine who finds herself the object of the Dark Prince’s desire.” He reached for his datapad, quickly bringing up a holonet store. “Look through this and order whatever you want. You need an entire wardrobe, so don’t be shy or modest about it.”

And handing the datapad to her, he stood, lifting her with him and setting her back on his chair. “I’ll start seeing to getting you an encrypted holopad. Or rather, set to masking the signal myself. I know you want to let the Resistance know that you are safe and warn them that I’ve stolen you.” He kissed the top of her head as she glowered at him before stealing away through the door.

While he was gone, she browsed through the wide selection of clothing. It was completely overwhelming, staring at every kind and style of outfit that she could imagine. She started with what she knew. A few pairs of leggings, some tunics, undergarments, a jacket, boots. After adding a simple nightgown to switch out the tunic she was brought here in, everything else seemed frivolous. 

Ben returned with a pad in hand, sitting in the chair she had originally occupied. He set to tinkering with it as Rey watched him work. After a moment, he gazed up at her, a lopsided smile turning his mouth. She handed the pad over to him. “I think that’ll be good enough.”

“I know you, Rey. If you are saying it’s ‘good enough,’ it’s not.” He took the pad from her, and then gave her a look from the corner of his eye. “Rey, I said not to be modest. This isn’t even enough to get you through a week.”

“Well, you do it then,” she grabbed a piece of bread from the spread and ripped into it. “That’s already more clothes than I’ve ever owned or even dreamed of. And I wasn’t modest. There’s a completely useless nightgown in there that I just thought was pretty. I can easily just wear your shirts to bed. And the undergarment breastband thingy with the—” She cupped her hands and held them near her chest in an attempt to mime a description. “—That’s all lacy! And there’s three different colors!”

He bit the inside of his cheeks as if suppressing a laugh. “Oh, sweetheart. You are going to be all too easy to spoil. If you really are agreeing to let me dress you…” He started tapping away at the screen with a look of absolute mischief. Rey watched him, gnawing away at her thumbnail. Ben occasionally made small groans or sounds of approval. Rey started to grow anxious, wondering if it was really a great idea to entrust the selection of her clothes into the hands of the man who probably had fantasies about her in nothing but black leather and lace. He felt her spike in anxiety, and a caress of calm washed over her down their thread. “You’re getting worried over nothing, sweetheart. I am all but certain you will be happy with these additions. However,“ he mused as he tapped the screen with extra flare, “I may have included a few things for my eyes only that I know I will thoroughly enjoy ripping off of you.”

“Scoundrel,” she chastised, grabbing another slice of that delectable fruit to nibble on as she curled in on herself in the chair with one leg draped over the arm. 

A flash of a devil’s smile and he was back to work, tinkering and cursing at the holopad that was to become her lifeline to the world beyond the cold metal walls of the ship she’d found herself on. She watched him engross himself in the holopad. Surely, he didn’t need to do this himself. A droid could possibly encrypt it, or another officer. And Ben must have heard her thoughts. Dancing down their thread, she felt that he wanted to do this because it was for her. It was another way he could care for her. And there was also the fact that he knew he couldn’t count on anyone else to complete a task of such a sensitive nature. He truly trusted no one on this ship, no one within his own factions. No one, except her.

She swiftly untangled her legs and crossed to him, taking his face in her hands and kissing him full and deep. 

“What was that for?” He spoke softly, gazing up at her with gentle eyes.

“You may not believe it yet, but you are a good man, Ben Solo. I saw that flicker in you, and it’s only growing.” She placed a hand against his heart, and her forehead pressed to his, tears itching at the corners of her eyes. “Thank you. For doing everything you can to make this… to make this easier on me.”

“We are in a difficult predicament, Rey. As much as I do believe that together, we can change the galaxy, I know that it is not going to be an easy road. Especially for you, being here. With me.” He took her hand, playing gently with her fingers. “You say I’m a good man? I know I’m not.” Rey felt her heart clench and she leaned into him to interject, to remind him of all the Light that she  _ did _ see within him, but he placed a finger to her lips. “But I will try. I will try to be better.” She smiled beneath his finger and pursed her lips to kiss the pad of it. “And good or not, I am not easy to live with. My past has made that painfully obvious. But unlike everyone else, you saw the monster and still looked for the man within. I should be thanking  _ you _ . So really, making you comfortable, giving you small things you’ve been denied… it’s the very least I can do.”

She sank down on his lap, stretching to straddle his thighs, and laced her arms behind his neck. “There is no monster here. And I’ve grown quite fond of the man.” She leaned in for his lips once more, then whispered, “Thank you.”

“Rey, you really don’t have to—”

“Just say ‘You’re welcome’.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he conceded, melting her with the endearment. His hands settled on her bare thighs, rubbing up and down, fingers creeping dangerously close to where his shirt bunched up at her waist. She took a sharp intake of breath as she felt his hands sneak around to cup her bottom, pulling her closer to him. And then, he smacked her firmly on her backside, making her shriek. “Now, unless you get off me, woman,” he growled in a way that was at once playful and dangerous, “I’ll be forced to take you on this table and forget all about tinkering with your little holopad.”

With another smack and squeeze to her ass, Ben helped guide her off his lap. She walked around the table to grab her cup of caf and again curled up in her chair, watching Ben work, listening in on the brilliant ramblings of his mind as he sorted through how to encrypt the signal. “I can feel you listening in, Rey. It’s completely distracting having you inside my head.”

She smirked. “You’re kind of adorable when you struggle.”

“I am not struggling. I’m just… analyzing.” He placed the holopad back on the table and scratched his head. “I’ve built droids. I rebuilt my lightsaber to function with a broken crystal. I compose battle tactics daily. I  _ can _ figure out how to properly encrypt a kriffing holopad.”

“How do you—”

“I’ve read about it. Studied it.” He turned the pad over in his hands to examine the back in detail. “I understand it in theory.”

“I’m learning more and more just how determined my lover is.”

“I researched that, too, you know.” When she gave him a questioning look, he added, with just a hint of a smile, “How to worship a woman so that she comes so hard, she never wants to leave your bed. On the slight chance I would ever get you into my bed in the first place.” 

“The Force decided to take care of that for you,” Rey teased, squirming in her chair as she felt herself grow instantly slick at his words, clutching at the emptiness within her. “I was wondering how you were so good at that. You blissed me into unconsciousness.”

“Lots of holoporn, anatomy books, and daydreams, that’s how.” His ears that peeked out from beneath his hair turned pink. “And our bond is a blessing in letting me know what you want. I also have a, I’ll admit, twisted need to possess you and mark you as mine for all to see, which I’m trying to rein in. But that need feeds me to please you. And...” 

He hesitated then, and something stronger than the sweet embarrassment he felt at admitting that he watched porn as an instruction manual while thinking of her radiated from him. A feeling of deep guilt. Guilt and... a little fear? She sat up in her chair. “Ben, what is it?”

Ben clenched and reset his jaw in the way he did when he was conflicted. “No, I don't want any secrets between us. And you should know this. He drew a long, deep breath through his nose before continuing. “I’ve had a small amount of… forced application.”

His eyes remained downcast at the pad he turned idly over and over in his hands. Rey’s brow creased trying to comprehend his meaning. “Forced application? Oh Ri’ia, Ben. That doesn’t mean—”

“Brothels, Rey,” he spat out. “Prostitutes. Pleasure houses.” He placed the pad on the table again, for fear of crushing it in his grip. “Snoke used to make us visit them. Said, as we were still men, we needed a way to act on our passion that wasn’t just violence and anger.”

Something in Rey’s stomach turned, making her feel nauseated and furious at the same time. Every time more information on the man who had twisted Ben to become Kylo came to light, she wanted to destroy him all over again. She wanted to resurrect him so she could be the one strike him down, rip into him, draw out the pain and make him suffer for everything he’d done to tear down the man whose soul was bound to hers. She leaned into Ben, willing him to continue.

“I wish I could say that I didn’t take part,” he said. “It wasn’t often, but I did.”

Rey chewed her lip, repressing the need to scream that he had been subjected to that. And then she looked at Ben. He looked completely ashamed and crestfallen. Her heart clenched painfully, and she reached her hand out to take his, “Ben, it’s—”

“I didn’t care at all about those girls, Rey.” He jumped on her words, a confession pouring from his mouth. “It was a ritual I had to get through. I only did what was absolutely necessary. Any touch or caress was bare minimum. I never even undressed—”

“Ben. It’s okay,” she said firmly, squeezing his hand to stop him as she felt anxiety start to cloud his mind. His eyes met hers, and the pain written there cleaved her in two. “Listen to me. I don’t care who came before me.”

“Maybe you should.” He let her wrap both her hands around his, her small fingers unable to completely cover his large palm. “I mean, there is no risk to you. I demanded a blood test in the room every time. Used all forms of protection available. But… that act has never meant anything to me until last night. And now, I feel like I tainted you by extension.”

“Ben, stop.” She scooted her chair closer to him. “You haven’t tainted me. And I truly don’t care about who you’ve been with before me. What I do care about is all the ways I’m learning that monster tortured you.” She wound her fingers in his hair before taking his cheek in her hands, making him look at her. “Ben, he twisted and poisoned your mind. I’ve seen and felt what he did to mar your body. Mental, emotional, physical torture: all of it leaving scars in their own brand. And now you tell me he forced you to sleep with women?”

“And then berated us for ‘needing’ it to channel our passion. That it was a weakness of the flesh, the necessity to release it in a fundamentally biological way.” His tone was empty, as if he was repeating a motto that had been drilled into his head. 

“He was trying to control how you felt about sex and intimacy. Affection.” She stroked his cheek with her thumb, watching how he leaned into the motion. “That it was just a release and not a connection.” 

Something shifted in his eyes. The cold, almost-black that was painted there by pain began to soften, and they warmed to a molton brown. “Didn’t work,” he stated. “I met you and was all but seduced on the spot. Any conditioning to the contrary came undone the moment I looked into your eyes.”

Her heart fluttered, and their bond sang. But tears gathered at the corners of her eyes as she spoke the truth she had known in the moment, but circumstances had prevented her from voicing. “That’s why he wanted you to be the one to kill me, wasn’t it? In the throne room. I threatened to undo all his work.”

Ben nodded. “He saw what you were to me, even before I knew. You  _ are _ my light. He wanted me to kill my light.” He caught the tears that escaped with a gentle brush to her cheeks. “And that is one of many reasons I sliced the bastard in two.”

“You saved my life,” she breathed out.

“And you defended mine.” He smiled softly and pressed a kiss to her palm that lay on his cheek. “I’ve felt you, in some way, for years. Since I was a child. And something came alive within me when I met you. I knew that a life without you in it would not be a life at all.” 

A small sob escaped her, soft, but it still rocked her shoulders. “I locked you out for months, Ben.”

“A temporary exile.” He laid his hand over her heart and placed her own over his. A wave of energy took them both in its grasp, stemming from the hum that was a constant presence now between them. “This bond of ours… It’s like it’s tied from my heart to yours. I’ve felt it all these months. I knew, eventually, when we were ready, it would lead us back to each other.” His lips found hers again, pressing his mouth to hers for just a taste. When he pulled back, Rey make a sound of protest, chasing his mouth’s retreat. He stayed just out of reach, breath ghosting hotly against her mouth as he added, “Transporting you half-naked across the stars to my bed, however, that I did not see coming.”

She laughed, and he pulled her in for another kiss, swallowing her joy and transforming it to moans of pleasure with his tongue. It was only when air became a necessity that Ben pried his mouth from hers. Rey felt her heart pounding, her blood on fire, that now all-too-familiar warmth beginning to curl low in her belly. Ben’s eyes were dark with lust, and his breath was ragged. But he pressed a kiss to her forehead, holding her at arm's length. 

“Now—and I say this with the utmost affection—get away from me, my sweet little temptress.” He captured her chin, grasping it in a playfully rough way. When she pouted at him, he nipped at her full bottom lip, making her squeal. “Go sit anywhere where I can’t put my hands on you and let me finish your kriffing holopad. Unless, of course, you want all your little friends to worry about you while I bend you over this table and fuck you senseless.”

“All right, all right. You can stop with the dark side dramatics. I’ll go drink my caf and just tempt you from the other side of the room.” She pulled away and picked up her mug, walking to a large soft chair that sat clear on the other side of the room. She felt his gaze as she turned her back to him, but more than just a subconscious feeling. She could feel the heat coming from his lust-lorn look, sense the beat of his heart picking up. 

She plopped into the chair and watched him avert his eyes back to the holopad. “You know, with our bond, I can actually feel you staring at my ass,” she said, crossing her legs as she took a swig of now lukewarm caf. 

“Get used to it, sweetheart,” he taunted, grabbing a tool and making some adjustments to the pad in his hands. “That peachy ass is mine now, and I will be doing more than just staring at it.”

She flushed. Would he ever lose the ability to paint roses in her cheeks with that mouth of his? “You mentioned something about bending me over the table? We should revisit that.”

“As soon as you’ve connected with the Rebels, I intend to.” He glanced up from his work to smirk at her. “Gives me incentive to get this done... and soon.”

Ben went back to his work, and Rey sipped from her mug, ruminating over the complete upheaval that was her life. Hadn’t they’d been enemies not all that long ago? And it had only been a standard day since she’d been shutting him out, ignoring the nudges and pulls from their tether, despite the desperate longing and the bone-deep ache she’d felt at his absence. A piece of her soul had been missing, and the wound it created, while soothed by those she regarded as family now, had never seemed to heal. That void had eaten at her heart until the Force brought her back to Ben and his presence notched into the place to make her complete.

If only the whole universe could understand that. Instead, she knew they were in for a difficult road, where both sides very well could—and likely would—ostracize and alienate them for bonding together. Hearts and souls were of little consideration in war. 

But for now, for this moment at least, she could pretend that those obstacles didn’t exist. She could pretend that they were a normal couple, sharing a quiet morning together. She watched her lover, deep in concentration, working diligently just for her. She was deliciously sore and sated from him, and his promises of more passion made her body again crave his touch. Her belly was full in a way that she had never known, and the knowledge that she wouldn’t want so long as they were together almost brought her to tears. She was safe, for the time being at least. And this man before her would fight for her, as he had in the past, to his last breath if need be. As she would for him. 

The forces that would seek to tear them asunder could wait. For now, her world was contained within these walls. For now, she’d found home. 

  
_ Mine _ she thought, sending it over their bond to Ben. He repeated the sentiment back to her.  _ Mine _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just a little note on my slowness with writing this: I am actually expecting my second child! So I've been slow with feeling just gross. But good timing, considering the tags for later, right? :)
> 
> Also, we still have time until THAT event happens to our lovers. These first three chapters can be read on their own as a separate work, as that was the original intention. But now we are going into true multichapter territory, which is new for me! There is lots of good things up ahead and I hope you stick with me for this adventure. 
> 
> Also, as always, I LOVE to hear from you all! I'm happy to answer questions or talk about the story! You can most easily find me on the [Twitters](https://twitter.com/auroranoir7)!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I see you found my secret treasure.”
> 
> Rey jumped at the deep voice that curled with amusement as the box slammed shut. She whipped around to see Ben, redressed, leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. 
> 
> “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just—“ Her hand hovered over the lid again, tingling sparks igniting beneath her fingertips, making her breath catch and shorten with excitement and familiarity. “Something here feels like our bond. That pull. That sense of home. It feels like something is calling to me.”
> 
> “Really?” he said as he crossed the room to her, eyebrows furrowed with curiosity. “Did you see what was in the box?”
> 
> She shook her head, looking up at him from over her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist. “Open it.”
> 
> With Ben’s hands warming her skin through the towel and his chin resting on her shoulder, she lifted the lid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’m learning I can only really work on one story at a time. I joined my first every exchange and that has really slowed me down with this. I’m on a bit of a hiatus until that is finished (it’s moving quick, with shorter chapters). Once it goes off anon, I’ll edit this to add a link to that story.
> 
> I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S TROS WEEK!!!!!!! No matter the outcome of TROS or what we learn from it, I intend to finish this story on more or less the same plot as I had originally intended. This has been an amazing Reylo journey and I am thankful for all the friendships I’ve made because of some space wizards I want to see fall in love. 
> 
> [Andabatae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andabatae) is still my amazing beta and mentor. LOVE YOU!

The encryption of the holopad proved more difficult than first thought. 

The fifth (and sixth) orgasm bent over the table proved a much easier puzzle for Ben to solve. 

They spent most of the remainder of the afternoon with Ben’s hands in a tangle of wires and various tools at the table while Rey diligently worked to unscramble every signal he sent out from where she sat in the bedroom. After the fifth attempt, she felt that red-hot wave of anger wrap about their thread. It invaded her like an injection to her veins, flooding through her system. Her small smile at outwitting him yet again faded, and she took a deep breath, willing him to breathe with her from the other room. Cool calm mitigated the burning anger. Padding barefoot through the quarters to where he sat, she pulled the pad from his hands and placed herself between him and the offending piece of technology. 

Fingers that had been tinkering for hours found her hips and held her in place as he buried his face in her abdomen. Lips that kissed at her skin through the fabric of her shirt wandered and found newly discovered places that made her moan and gasp. Then all was a flurry of hands and clothes and lips until they ended up with Rey’s chest pressed to the table and Ben bent over her, entwined in that passion that seemed to overtake them whenever they were close. 

“That underwear that I ordered,” Rey panted against the smooth metal surface of the table, “seems like a waste of fabric if this is what is going to happen every time you put your hands on me.”

Ben let out a groan, swiping her hair to the side and laying kisses along her back and neck. “Not at all. I’ll quite enjoy removing them, sliding them down with my teeth.” He let his fingernails rake up and down her thigh until he reached her backside and gave it a firm smack. “Ripping them to shreds so I can have my way with you.” 

Rey let out a shrieking gasp. “Ben, if you destroy all my clothes—“

“Then you’ll just have to lounge around here naked, or I’ll have to keep replacing them with sexy alternatives. Both options are equally agreeable.” 

Rey found a way to maneuver her hips to sneak out from under Ben’s heavy frame and dodged his hands as he tried to grab for her. “I reiterate: Scoundrel.” She located his shirt that she had been wearing and starting to head for the ‘fresher. “And since I am now leaking you, I have to go wash up. Again,” she teased him as she watched him sway into the chair buck-naked, eyes hazy in their amorous aftermath. 

Ben seemed to take mercy on her body and let her shower in peace this time. Clean and wrapped in a fluffy towel, Rey returned to the bed chambers to dress. She walked around the room a bit, taking in the details she’d been too preoccupied to notice earlier.

She was sure that this was not the same room that he had been in during that Forcebond so long ago. Though she hadn't been able to see things clearly, that time they connected she had been able to make out fuzzy shapes of his surroundings. That room had been smaller, with a bed that, thinking back on it, seemed too small for a man his size. He’d obviously upgraded to a bed that actually fit him comfortably. And her, though she doubted the addition of a second body had factored into its selection. Everything was still cold, dark metal with harsh lighting, so very matching to his persona of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. But there were small details of the side of him that she was privy to. Little things that she just knew were  _ Ben _ . The softer—though still dark—sheets and blanket on the bed. A large, comfortable-looking chair in the corner with a few actual books. On his desk, ink and a set of odd looking instruments that seemed to be for writing. And on the small dresser that stood next to his closet, a wooden box. 

As she focused her attention on it, something about that box drew her in, called to her. It was speaking to her, almost singing. Something about the way it resonated in her heart reminded her of her bond with Ben, the way it pulsed and surged when they were together. She let it pull her, feet leaving wet footprints on the cold floor. Whispers seemed to weave through her as her hands hovered over the lid. She let her thumbs find the latches and slowly opened it to answer the call. 

“I see you found my secret treasure.”

Rey jumped at the deep voice that curled with amusement as the box slammed shut. She whipped around to see Ben, redressed, leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just—“ Her hand hovered over the lid again, tingling sparks igniting beneath her fingertips, making her breath catch and shorten with excitement and familiarity. “Something here feels like our bond. That pull. That sense of home. It feels like something is calling to me.”

“Really?” he said as he crossed the room to her, eyebrows furrowed with curiosity. “Did you see what was in the box?”

She shook her head, looking up at him from over her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist. “Open it.”

With Ben’s hands warming her skin through the towel and his chin resting on her shoulder, she lifted the lid.

“Ben,” she breathed out. “They’re kyber crystals, aren’t they?”

He nodded, releasing her and reaching to pluck the two identical crystals from the box. Her body followed their pull, turning to face Ben. She was so fixated on the shimmer of the crystals in his palm that she almost missed the smile that crept slowly across his face. 

“These are some of the few things I brought with me after that fateful night at the Jedi Camp. I found these when I went to Ilum. They were growing right beside my own, from the same source. My crystal called to me. It pulled me toward it so strongly. As soon as I picked it up, it turned ice blue, and the song felt like it melded into my soul. But I could still sense a soft call coming from these two. It was as if they were begging me to not leave them there. They wanted me to take them with me. So I did. I pocketed them, hid them away. Yet they remained colorless.” His eyes flicked up to hers, a spark igniting in the honeyed hue. “You say they speak to you?”

He held them out to her, and it was the most natural thing to just reach out and wrap her fingers about the crystals, one in each hand. 

She gasped at the sensation: a shock, almost like lightning coursing through her veins from where it entered at her fingertips. Yet it was soothing. Inviting. Comforting. 

The crystals suddenly bloomed in her hands. Color swirled within them in clouds of deep red and rich blue that blended together until it infused both crystals with a brilliant shade of violet. 

“Ben?” Rey looked up, meeting his look of wonderment. 

“Well, I'll be damned,” he said, his hand coming to cradle hers beneath. “I knew they weren’t mine to claim, but I could never understand why I seemed to need to keep them. They wouldn’t even let me leave them behind when I fled the camp that night. But now I see. I was meant to safeguard them. For you.” 

“I love them,” she said as her fingers closed around them. She felt excitement overtake her as she bounced a little. “When can we start building my saber?” 

“Patience, sweetheart,” Ben laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “We’d need to collect some supplies, get a design. And it’s a process. It’ll take time.” 

“But I have the first step.” She turned around again, opening her hands to admire the crystals’ lavender shimmer in the light. 

“You do. Though I was looking forward to taking you to Ilum or someplace to find your crystal. Give you the true Padawan experience. But then again, nothing about you has been traditional.” 

“Well,  _ Master _ ,” she teased. “Maybe you can still take me one day. I’d love to see it with you.” She lay the crystals back down in the box gently, fingers stroking them with reverence.

Ben snuck his arms again about her waist, lips pressing to her neck. “Call me ‘Master’ again, and you’ll have to take another shower.”

His kisses became gentle nips at the already abused flesh of her neck, and she giggled as she squirmed in his arms. But then something else in the box caught her eye. It called to her as well, though it wasn’t at all the same as the pull that came from her crystals. She paused, letting her fingertip trace the edges of a small shard that was the source of the soft song. 

“This calls to me, too,” she said, picking it up carefully and letting it rest in her palm. It shimmered like the sea, a pale aquamarine blue, and hummed contentedly, warmed against her skin. “It’s familiar. I know this. Why do I know this, Ben?”

He kissed her shoulder and then walked to his nightstand, where his lightsaber lay. “Does it maybe feel like this? Like the call you felt in the throne room that allowed my lightsaber to come to you?”

“Yes! Oh, stars,” she gasped, as she looked from the shard in her hand to the menacing hilt in Ben’s. “So this is—“

“It chipped off when bled my crystal. Almost immediately. As soon as I started to pour my hatred and my anger into it to bend it to my will, it cracked and shattered.”

“So that’s why your blade is so unstable.” Ben nodded, turning on his saber momentarily. The crimson light sputtered and sparked from the hilt, crackling through the air as he swung it in a figure eight. The piece in Rey’s hand pulsed strangely, almost in the way a wound throbbed around frayed and broken flesh. But then Ben extinguished his blade and the pulse cut off. Rey blinked back the tears that formed from the sad lament of the shard. “Your crystal rejected the Dark so much that it actually broke, rather than bend.”

“It was… a process. A test in which I did not succeed.” There was a sad, tortured tone to his voice. That conflict that was always brewing beneath the surface started to bubble. His dark eyes met hers, and the despair in his look caused a tear that she had been trying to suppress to roll down her cheek. He seemed to soften at that, placing his hilt back down on the nightstand and crossing to her, wiping that tear away with his knuckle. “But I adapted. As I always have.”

“Ben.” Her voice came out shaky, and she swallowed to clear it. “You didn’t fully succeed because your heart wasn’t in it. It didn’t want to be turned.” She held the brilliant blue shard up to his sight. “And this piece remained blue. Light. Pure.”

He reached out and took the shard out of her hand. “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” He turned away from her, clenching his fist so hard that Rey could feel the jagged pieces bite at the flesh of his palm as if she were the one holding the crystal. She reached out and placed a careful hand over his fist. He immediately relaxed, breath slowing, though the twist of torment was still almost visible, rippling the energy around him. “Rey, love, you are reading too much into it. It’s just blue because it broke off early. That’s all.”

“Then why do you keep it?” Rey said simply. 

Ben whipped himself around and opened his mouth to speak. But then he met her eyes and he hesitated. His lips pressed together, jaw working as Rey felt his emotions continue to turn and twist inside his mind. She laid a hand on his chest, holding his gaze with a steady look and a nudge down their thread. “I told you. You’re a good man, Ben Solo. Right here is the proof.”

“The things I’ve done, Rey—”

“The crystal reflects the heart of its master,” she said, raising her voice just enough to overpower his. “Right there is the piece of your heart that couldn’t be turned. Pure. Light. Good.”

He shrugged, glancing down at the crystal fragment in his now open palm. The conflict still raced inside him, twisting their tether in a way that made Rey’s heart ache. But there was no violent rage beneath the surface, no volcano of wrath about to erupt. Just anguish, a worn and tired misery that gave his eyes more age than they should carry. Her consciousness caressed his through their bond, almost like a kiss through their connection. He let out a sigh and placed the shard back in the box, shutting the lid. “Maybe it’s just the part that has always belonged to you.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her, pulling sweet sounds from her lips as she melted to him. 

“I’m not your goodness, Ben. I may inspire you to be better. But I am not the sole reason that you’ve been so lost for so long, so pulled in two different directions,” she said, her hand resting on his chest. “But you know I’ll help you. However I can.”

“Tonight you can help by letting it rest.” Her hands fisted the fabric of his shirt, but before she could speak, he tilted her chin up, thumb pressing against her lips. “Just for now. I haven’t really taken a day off of my duties before, and I wish to enjoy the remainder of the day.”

She knew he was right. To push the matter further tonight would get them nowhere but a fight. And neither one of them truly knew how long these precious moments of peace together would last once she was presented as by his side. 

She nodded in compliance and then playfully nipped at his thumb as it ran along her lips. “So, what would the Supreme Leader like to do for the rest of his day playing hookie?”

With a smirk, Ben swooped down and hoisted her up in his arms, ignoring her squeals and small struggles as he made his way over to the bed and tossed her against the pillows. Instead of crawling on top of her like she expected him to do, he crossed to find the makeshift dress she had flung on a chair on her way to the fresher and handed it to her. 

Rey gave him a skeptical look as she reached for the clothing, taking it with a quirk to her eyebrow. “So you’re not planning on ravaging me again?”

Ben leaned into her, voice low and molten in her ears. “I just had you bent over the table and you’re already hungry for more? You are a greedy little scavenger, aren’t you?” He kissed her, heated but restrained at the same time, and a groan escaped as he pulled back. “Patience, darling. You’ll be screaming my name again before the night is done.” He pushed himself off the bed and walked back into the other room before returning with his holopad and a plate of the leftover food. “Right now, I want to lie curled up in bed with you, watch some silly holomovie, and have a lazy dinner.”

Rey wiggled the shirt back over her head and slipped it over her curves, letting the towel fall to the bed. “I’m not used to laying idle like this,” she said as she took the plate from him so he could crawl into bed beside her. 

“Nor am I. I haven’t done this since I was a child.”

They adjusted the pillows and made a little nest of the blankets around them. Just as Rey grabbed a handful of dried fruit to munch on and nestled into the pillows, a sharp beep sounded from the desk in the corner. 

“Kriffing Hux,” Ben cursed under his breath, pulling himself from the bed and crossing to the source of the beeping. “I swear, if this just a show of his incompetence—“

Ben’s words trailed off as he picked up the datapad and read the message on the screen. He knitted his brown together as he clenched his jaw, his mind a swirl of mixed emotions at whatever news he’d received. 

“Everything all right?” Rey asked, sitting up from her cocoon of pillows. 

“It will be. I need to interrupt our evening for a moment. Arrange a few things.” His air was suddenly very serious, but he walked over to her again, taking her hand and gently kissing the knuckles. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Rey stifled a giggle at his decorum, but then smiled, sensing the gesture was meant as an apology. “By all means, go be Supreme Leader. I’ll be here.”

Ben nodded briskly and then turned on his heel to march out of the room. 

Rey past the time browsing through some choices of holomovies for them to watch upon his return, choosing the one that seemed the sappiest, just to see what Ben’s reaction would be. She found a flight simulator and, after a few trials, got the hang of it, running a few scenarios. Eventually, she realized that she’d eaten all the food that Ben had put on the plate, so she went out to the small kitchen area to prepare another serving for them. Just as she was pulling out some more of that deep purple fruit from the conservator that made her mouth water, the faint beep from outside sounded, followed by the hiss of the doors.

Ben stalked in, hair mussed from running his fingers through it in frustration and eyes tired, his meeting all but erasing the rest he’d gotten the night before in Rey’s arms. He was still in just a black shirt and pants, but he must have thrown his boots on on his way out of the door. He kicked them off into a corner, not caring where they landed. Rey could sense a weight hanging on his shoulders. It obviously wasn’t dire; he wasn’t distressed or furious. Just… heavy. Ben’s whole being just seemed weighted with burden.

She set down the plate and motioned toward the large chair she’d sat in while drinking her coffee that morning. Crossing to him with quicker steps than his lumbering ones, she eased him to sit and then crawled into his lap, straddling his waist and letting her fingers rub at the knots in his neck. His eyes closed and his head rolled to rest on her chest.

“Tell me,” she spoke softly against his hair, working her hands down to his neck.

“We’re going to Coruscant,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist. “There’s a borderland dispute on one of the outer rim planets. They are sending representatives to speak their case with the Emperor. Only way they would hold off on an all-out civil war.”

“Ben, that’s good,” she tugged his hair gently to tilt his face up to hers. “You’re going to stop a conflict, save lives.”

“Yes, but it means dragging you to the Imperial Palace before I’ve been able to make good on my promise to let you speak to the Resistance,” he said, eyes painted deep with worry. “I swore to allow you that if you stayed with me. It’ll be harder to hide you there.”

“You’ve hidden me well so far,” she teased gently, trying to lighten his spirits a little. 

“Yes, but it’s been what? A day?” He stared down at the space between them, fingers teasing at the knot of the shirt at her side. “People are going to get suspicious of the increase of food, not to mention the female clothing that will be arriving soon.”

“And the cries of passion.” Rey wriggled a little in his lap, still feeling that twist of concern in their thread. She again tipped his chin, giving him a smile that spoke of mischief. “Maybe they’ll just think you’ve acquired a live-in courtesan.”

“I don’t want anyone thinking of you like that, even as a cover.” Something in his eyes darkened at that, his possessive nature seeping into their cord and racing into her veins to flood her with his wild  _ need _ of her. Fingers pressed into her skin and pulled her closer, breath hot against her chest. “I want to carry you out of this room and announce to the galaxy at large that you are mine, that I’ve found my Empress at last.”

“Ben—“

“Or consort. Council. Partner. I’ll respect your decision on your position at my side, as long as you are at my side. But it doesn’t stop me from wanting to crown you my Queen.”

_ Want it. Will always want you. Mine, _ Ben growled through their bond. He grabbed her almost roughly and brought her lips crashing down on his. His arms tightened about her slight waist, crushing her to him as her fingers plunged into his hair and tugged as their kiss went from desperate to carnal. 

Rey moaned, losing herself in the way Ben completely surrounded her with his whole being and claimed her mouth, her breath, her body. Her hips began to rock against him, leg squeezing either side of his thighs for leverage. Those warm, large hands of his migrated slowly to grasp at the bones at her pelvis. Heat coiled in her belly as his thumbs dug into her abdomen and fingers splayed against her lower back and the beginning of the curve of her ass.

But he held her in place, stilled her small gyrations to just keep her against him, feeling the heat of his body. His lips slowed, too, moving against her mouth as if he was taking deep drags of her essence before pulling back and staring up at her. She knew she must look ravaged, kiss-stained lips and flushed cheeks, breathless and dazed. 

“I could just bind your wrists and throw you over my shoulder. Carry you over the threshold of the palace like that.” He adjusted her in his lap, a little gasp drawn through her parted lips as she felt the evidence that he was just as wrecked as she was. “Everyone would just think I’ve captured you at last, and you’re my prisoner.”

She cocked her head at him. “Do you often take your prisoners to your bedroom?”

“I’m the Emperor,” he said, punctuating his words with a small thrust of his hips. “I can do whatever I damn well please.” Ben’s lips pressed against her neck, tongue darting out between his lips and teeth grazing gently against her skin.

“Or…” she pulled away from his attack with a bubble of laughter, making Ben groan in frustration, “I could dress as a stormtrooper. Blend in and no one would be the wiser.”

Now it was Ben’s turn to give her the quizzical look. “Bringing a stormtrooper into my bedchamber would be more suspicious than bringing a young, female prisoner there.”

“So you  _ have _ often brought your prisoners to bed, I see.” She sat back a little, purposefully removing her heated core from his throbbing bulge. 

“Never.” His words came out as a groan as he grabbed her hips and brought her back to rock against him. “Wanted to bring  _ you _ back, long ago.”

“But you weren’t Emperor then.” She slid her hands up his arms, rocking slowly in his lap. 

His head rolled back and rested on the back of the chair, bucking against her. “No, I wasn’t.”

“But you are now,” she purred in a low, sultry tone, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. “Prisoner. Stormtrooper. You can do whatever you damn well please.”

“Yes, I can.” The words came out as a growl, though with a smirk curling his lips. “And right now, I think I will.” 

Hands came down upon her ass in a firm smack before he palmed her backside and lifted her bodily as he stood up. Rey squealed as she braced herself against his hold, legs wrapping around his waist. He worked his fingers beneath her clothes, bunching it up around her waist so he could knead at her bare skin, soothing her flesh before giving her another sharp slap. Rey cried out, her yelp transforming to a moan as Ben’s fingers dipped between her cheeks and sank home into her wet center.

Ben’s eyes momentarily rolled back as he pumped a finger into her. Then with a groan he stroud into the bedroom, long, swift strides carrying her across the room. She expected to be thrown on the mound of pillows on the bed, but instead he maneuvered to the wall, slamming her back against the cool surface. As she opened her mouth in surprise, lips attacked hers, ravaging as she tried desperately to keep up with his tongue’s sparring thrusts. 

He ground against her, pressing her to the wall with his body, holding her up with his sheer weight. Both their hands went to fumble with the fasten of his pants, tangling in each other in their passion. Rey laughed into Ben’s mouth, but Ben growled and bit her bottom lip. His teeth sunk into her flesh just enough to silence her, to still her movements. She could feel her flesh swell beneath his teeth as he relaxed his nip, lapping at his handiwork with his tongue. He was feral, desperate in his need of her, and it showed in his almost brutish actions. 

She went about working at the button of his pants again, but he batted her hands away. With a swift motion, he undid the fastens, freeing his straining cock from its cloth confines. Rey felt him palm himself a few times, thrusting his hips up into his palm and running his cockhead against her drenched folds. Then he angled her hips, notching himself at her slick entrance. Her breath caught in her throat. He paused long enough to grab her wrists and press them to the wall beside her head. And then he gave one smooth, firm thrust up, sinking deep within her as her body opened for him. 

They both released a breath in union, eyes locking as they melded together. Ben held his hips still, and Rey felt her muscles give around his thick cock, letting the artificial gravity do the rest of the work as she slowly slid down the rest of the way. He leaned against her, burying his face in her hair and relaxing his grip on her wrists to find her hands. Where Ben had proved to be a talker in the bedroom, spurring her on with salacious words mumbled against her skin, now he was silent, just labored breath and passionate groans filling her ears as he began to work his hips in a steady, slow pace. 

Rey gripped his hips with her legs, steadying herself against his thighs as he bent to give her just enough to leverage herself. Every thrust stole the breath from her lungs, filled her with him, surrounding and consuming her until she felt like she was drowning in him. 

His hands traveled down her body, massaging her breasts, following the smooth line of her abdomen down to wrap about her hips and dig more bruises into her skin there. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as he helped guide their movements. She rolled with his guidance, feeling him meet her every time. His breath was hot against her shoulder, lips mouthing at her skin, and her name started to ghost out along his string of groans.

Suddenly, he moved to loop her knees under his arms, opening her wider to him. She was pressed flat to the wall as his pace increased, taking over and pounding into her with an almost violent sense of urgency. Rey cried out against his desperation, gripping Ben’s hair, grasping at his shoulders to hold on. She could feel something curling along their tether, his frenzied need intermingling with his lust, which manifested as this frantic act of lovemaking against the cold wall.

_ It’s alright, Ben, _ she coaxed him, stroking his mind and soul down their connection.  _ Just let go. Let go, love. I’m here _ . 

And like she had done earlier that day when Ben had enticed her to give herself over to him in the shower, he let go. She felt the rush of release down their connection, letting it wash over her, taking it inside her, and smiling at the almost instant lift in his being. Two more jarring thrusts and he pressed them to the wall as he seated himself deep within her. His hands splayed on the durasteel near her shoulders for support, still holding her knee and keeping her aloft. An inhuman cry escaped him as he came, shuddering and shaking as he spilled himself within her. She stroked his hair, tangling her fingers in his locks and easing his breath to steady with both gentle caresses and calm sent through their bond as he gasped raggedly against her. 

Their bond glowed between them, mimicking their arms as they held onto each other, feeling the warmth that emanated from that golden connection seep into their skin. Rey felt her lips turn up and a breathy laugh bubbled forth, especially as her strong lover began to shake and collapse a little in his bliss. Ben twisted them in a sloppy, exhausted motion, and they fell on the bed, his weight falling on top of her as they both grunted at their landing.

He nuzzled into her neck, gasping against her skin, hot air from his breath tickling her and mixing with their sweat. Rey squirmed beneath him, more laughter bursting from her as she felt his lips lazily graze her shoulder. Force, he was a big man, but his weight on her made her feel grounded, safe, secure. Adored. The feeling of being pinned to the mattress, her spent lover still buried between her thighs and their passion dripping out between them, caused her to sigh with contentment, pulling him closer and deeper into her. 

Ben propped himself up on his elbows after a few moments of luxuriating in his post-orgasmic euphoria, and Rey immediately brushed the hair away from his face, letting her fingers linger at his cheeks.  _ His eyes _ . Maker, she’d never get over how those fathomless eyes of his seemed to undo her, seemed to peer into her very soul and strip her bare. He turned his head toward her hand and sought out each fingertip with his lips, kissing them with sweet reverence, and her heart swelled. 

“You didn’t come,” he rasped out.

She laughed lightly at that. “It’s alright. I think I’ve had more orgasms today than I’ve had in months,” she said with amusement, tracing the angles of his face. “You needed that. I don’t have to come every time we are intimate.”

“I could beg to differ,” he groaned out, turning his head in the direction of her hand. He nibbled at one of her fingers, sucking the pad between his lips and biting down gently. And then he shifted, hand sneaking out from under her and following the gradual curve of her side up to her breast, still covered in the black of his shirt. He toyed with the side of it through the fabric before following the gentle slope of the underside to rest his hand on her bare stomach, pushing the material up higher. “And tonight I won’t be satisfied until you’re writhing in bliss beneath me again.”

“Ben, I—“ but the words stuck in her throat as Ben’s hand snaked down her abdomen and cupped her heated sex. 

His fingers trailed through the mix of cum and arousal dripping from her, coating his fingers and scooping up what had seeped out onto her thighs before pushing it back inside her with a slow thrust. “I love feeling you so full of me,” he groaned, his fingers beginning a slow rhythm, making obscene noises with every dip inside her body. 

The erotic nature of the action astounded her, but it made something burst into flames in her belly, coiling and tightening within her as her breath began to stutter. He curled his fingers as his thumb found her swollen clit and began to worry it in time with his thrusts. She could feel that spring twisting and gathering energy with every caress of his hands at her center, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head before they closed. She panted, clawing at his shoulders, digging her nails deeper into his skin as he wound her tighter and tighter. 

“Open your eyes, sweetheart.” It was a command, gruff and demanding, yet soft at the edges, and Rey obeyed, immediately held prisoner by the possessive look in his dark gaze. “That’s it, my girl. I want to watch you. I want to see it in your eyes when you come for me again.”

One arm cradling her to hold her tight against him and the other working magic between her thighs, Rey lost herself in the warmth and the lightning and the delicious desire that emanated from Ben’s busy fingers and coursed through her whole body. It was no longer a surprise to feel their bond ignite as they came together, but it still took her breath away the moment that they really began to feel each other, fall into the other to experience their pleasure as one. 

“Come for me,” he spoke barely above a whisper. Or was it down their thread? Perhaps both at once. Rey no longer could tell what was her and what was him and who was speaking. The world was all moans and cries and filthy encouragements against heated skin, all swirling in his obsidian eyes as they kept hers hostage.

They held her as his fingers stroked and his thumb worked. She could hear the low rumble of his voice coaxing her along, wrapping about her. And when she came, all her senses seemed to stop momentarily, save for touch. Her open eyes saw white, the world around her hushed to silence, her lungs refused air. But the heat from Ben’s body against her and his fingers continuing to work within her and her walls gripping and spasming around him were  _ overwhelming _ . Over the crest she fell and suddenly, her body remembered how to function. She sucked in a strangled breath, painful filling her lungs. A scream of ecstasy escaped as the ripples of pleasure surged through her. And then his voice filled her ears, bringing her back to the world and their little room. 

“That’s it, sweetheart. So beautiful.” Her eyes finally closed and his lips pressed to her lids, tears sliding from her lashes as the waves began to subside. He kissed away the little rivers at her cheeks before finding her lips, tasting of salt and caf and  _ Ben _ . “I could watch you come every day for the rest of my life and still be amazed at how magnificent you are.”

“Ben,” she gasped out, still feeling tears wet her cheeks.

“Shhh,” he hushed, pressing his lips to hers again in a quick, gentle kiss. “Stay here, love.”

Ben untangled himself from her heavy, trembling limbs and crossed to the ‘fresher. Rey closed her eyes and tried to steady her breath, focusing on the pounding of her heart in her ears and the tingles of her lingering orgasm still dancing her in veins. A moment later, she felt the bed shift and felt soft lips on her forehead. 

“I’m going to clean you up, darling,” he whispered into her hair. All she could do was nod, and then she felt the warm softness of a towel between her legs, carefully wiping the mess from her thighs. Then she felt him tilt her to her side as he crawled into the bed behind her. 

“You know,” he spoke against her cheek, arms wrapping about her, “we could solve all our problems with figuring out how to get you into the Imperial Palace easily. I can call the council right now and just present you to them as the Empress and Queen-to-be, with you looking ravaged, in just my shirt and my cum still dripping down your thighs.”

Her haze lifted and she turned her head. “Benjamin Solo, you better be kidding.”

“Partly,” he said a hint of a smile, which faded as his mood shifted serious. “But I am worried about hiding you in Coruscant. It would just make everything easier if I didn’t have to.”

“But the Resistance—” she started.

“I know.” His voice was gentle, a kiss nipping at the tip of her nose. “I promised. And I intend to honor that, I assure you. I’m just saying it would be easier.”

“I know. But just… not yet,” she said, turning her head back so she could nestle against him. “I say stormtrooper idea. Dress me as one, and I’ll just walk right into the palace undetected.” 

“Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” he teased into her ear. 

“Everyone is short to you. You’re almost as tall as a Wookiee.”

His fingers attacked her sides from where they wrapped around her, and she burst into a fit of giggles. As she squirmed in his arms, protesting all the way, she was able to twist herself to face him, using all her strength to wrestle him on his back to land on top of him, using her hands to dig into his sides and apply the same gentle torture to him. He wriggled and bucked beneath her, but her quick hands avoided his every time they tried to make a grab for her wrists. The roar of laughter from him, choked instead of full and deep, made a smile bloom on her face that made her cheeks ache. 

“Ah! Who knew that the fearsome Kylo Ren was this ticklish?” She then grabbed his hands and pinned them to the bed. “Concede or I’ll continue my torture,” she said with a thick voice, trying to make her tone dark. 

“Fine. I surrender!” he gasped out, trying to catch his breath. “You’ll be my short, sexy stormtrooper escort that I take to my bedroom. After which, any guards standing by will hear screams of passion and start all sorts of rumors about their Emperor.”

Rey laced their fingers and laid her head down on his chest. “And after we’ve made contact with the Resistance, you can set the record straight. That, I promise.”

“We’ll figure this out, Rey,” Ben whispered into her hair.

“There is so much against us.” Rey felt tears sting at her eyes as she nuzzled into Ben’s neck. 

“I know, sweetheart.” Ben’s warm voice wrapped about her, and she felt a sense of calm, much like she would send to him when she felt his anger spike, flow down their connection, lighting up her heart and causing her to exhale. “But whenever you are in doubt, just remember this.” He ignited the bond, the thread between them almost glistening golden as it wrapped around them. “You are mine. And I am yours. This thing between us, that’s how I know that we will find a way.”

“Because the Force wills it?” She forced a laugh to shake off the melancholy sound that the tears gathering in her eyes colored her voice with. 

“Well, yes.” He shrugged, and then with mirth added, “I trained as a Jedi. I know these things.”

She gave his ribs one more jab with her fingers and then buried herself into his chest. For a moment, he just held her, arms wrapping around her and keeping her to him as they fell into tandem breath and heartbeat, the pulse of it keeping time along their tether.

Then Ben shifted them, kissing her shoulder as he untangled their arms and lay her down. He got up without a word and marched into the other room. Rey heard shuffling and shifting from the small kitchen, and by the time she sat up, he’d returned, the plate of food she had been working on when he came back in one hand and a large glass of water in the other. 

“I can already sense you thinking about dinner. So eat. And drink.You need to hydrate if we keep up in the bedroom the way we have been.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. “Make yourself comfortable. I need to make some arrangements and then I’ll join you.”

Rey reclined back in the cocoon of pillows she had created earlier, plate on her lap and cup in her hands as Ben turned the corner. She chugged the water, not realizing how parched she was until the water touched her lips, and she couldn’t stop drinking. But the food just sat on the plate, her fingers picking at a piece of bread and poking the purple fruit she loved. 

She could hear Ben in the other room, speaking in hushed tones and pacing back and forth. He was still tense about the whole change in situation, and she could feel his energy vibrating nervously as he worked. And then she felt a small shift, a touch of lightness in his aura that puzzled her, though she was happy for it. After a moment, he came back to the bedroom and crawled into the bed beside her. 

“You haven’t eaten,” he said, taking the plate from her hands again, a cloud passing over his face.

“You’re still worried about bringing me to Coruscant, aren’t you?” she stated, taking a piece of the fruit to placate him. He placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him.

“Yes, but I feel better about it now,” he said as he released a breath, her closeness and the hum of their bond allowing his tensions to melt. “Your clothes, save for a few items, will be delivered to the suite there. And there is a part I found that will allow me to encrypt your pad, which will be made available at the palace. Once I have it, you should be speaking with the Resistance within hours.”

She smiled at him. “See? Crisis averted. Just sneak me in, and by the time people start getting funny ideas about what exactly is going on with the Emperor and his shorter than average stormtrooper, the Resistance will know where I am. And then you can let everyone know it’s me in your bedroom. Parade me around as your bondmate-in-crime.”

“As my lover,” he crooned, lips at her temple. She could feel him think that word “Queen” again, sending it to her in their bond, wrapping the word in all the promise he wished to lay at her feet. 

As much as that word still gave her pause, she sighed against the way calling her ‘Queen’ made Ben surge with pride. “I think ‘lover’ will be obvious to anyone with more than two working brain cells.”

“Hux might need some help putting it together then.”

She gave him a gentle slap on the chest as she laughed, taking a bit of the fruit she’s been playing with in her fingers. Even warmed by her hands, the fruit exploded with sweetness that made her moan. “Ben, what is this fruit?”

Ben gaped. “You’ve seriously never had jogan fruit before?”

She shook her head, swallowing the bite in her mouth before Ben placed another slice at her lips. She bit half of the piece off before returning the favor, giving Ben the other half. He gave her a little smirk before surging forward and capturing the fruit, along with her fingers, careful to wrap his lips over his teeth, sucking her fingers clean in a way that made her mouth run dry and her stomach twist. “They make a cake with it. I’ll make sure we get some soon. And I’ll ensure that there is jogan fruit always available to you whenever you fancy.”

“You’re spoiling me again,” she said as she dabbed a small drop of juice from the corner of his mouth with her thumb.

“I warned you to get used to it.” Ben reached up and captured her hand, kissing the pads of her fingers and then pressing her palm to his chest. “I need to let you know that I did have to break my promise just a little to get everything arranged at the palace.”

“Break your promise?” Rey sat up from where she was nuzzled into him, giving him a questioning look. “What do you mean?”

“I had to tell someone about you,” he said with a guilty look. Rey felt her panic spike, but Ben immediately cupped her face, calm emanating from his fingertips. “She won’t tell anyone about you. You’re still my secret. I swear. She’s probably the only other person, beyond you, I could say I trust.”

“She?” Rey asked, a note of surprise lifting her eyebrows. She playfully jabbed him in the chest. “Should I be jealous that there is another woman in your life?”

“Force, no! It’s nothing like that.” Ben’s ears pinked along with his cheeks and he fumbled for his words. “She works in Coruscant, sometimes in the palace. An attendant, I guess. She’s... well, our history is a little complicated, but she’s a friend, of sorts. She’s arranging for your arrival.”

“Ben.” Rey took the plate from his hands and placed it on the side table, turning to sit on her knees to face him. “No secrets, remember? You’re acting like she’s a former lover or something you’re ashamed of. Just tell me.”

“Not a former lover, I swear.” Ben took her hands, keeping his eyes averted down to where their fingers rolled over each other. “Remember how I told you that Snoke used to make us visit the First Order pleasure house?”

“Yes, and had I known that before, I would have sliced him in two myself.”

A small smile played at his mouth at the venomous way she spat out her words about his former Master. “Well, Sarsara is the Madam there.”

Rey’s mouth dropped a little. “So, she’s a prostitute?”

“She was. But now she runs the place.” Rey swallowed around the lump that had formed in her throat, but nodded to encourage Ben to continue. “When I was forced to visit the brothel for the first time, I wasn’t much older than you. Scared and nervous, shaken from my first real lesson with Snoke.” Brief images of Force lightning in the shape of whips slicing through the air flashed in Rey’s mind, accompanied by anguished screams, the smell of blood, and the faint burn of searing pain before Ben caught himself and hid the memory from her. Tears stung and blurred her vision. She reached out to cup his cheek, forcing him to look at her. His eyes were dark, shadowed by demons past. “She took care of me. Helped clean my wounds. Listened to me. Didn’t judge that I was 23 and had never… had never been with a woman, as others had.” His cheeks colored. 

“Did she—” Rey paused, trying to search for the right words, “—find women for you?”

Ben gave the slightest nod. “She always made sure I was… taken care of.”

Rey couldn’t help the twist of jealousy that knotted her stomach at the thought of Ben’s hands and lips on someone else’s skin, making another woman cry out in pleasure. But then again, she knew she had no right. Ben had been forced by a cruel master to take out his passion in a carnal way. The guilt and shame he felt at his past was so palpable it left a bitter taste on her tongue when he spoke about it. She could feel the remorse eating him from the inside out. 

She pushed down the green-eyed monster and tried to banish those thoughts of Ben and a faceless woman from her mind. “I guess I should thank her for making sure you were treated well, before I could.”

“You can be angry with me, Rey,” he said as he pulled his hands away from hers. “I hate myself for that part of my past.”

“No, I can’t. What’s past is past. And you were forced, Ben.” She tilted her face to try to capture his downcast gaze. When he did look up at her, he looked liked a scolded child and not the man she knew. “But even if you had gone of your own free will, even if you slept with other women because you enjoyed it, I can’t hold that against you. To do so would be unfair.” Rey rocked forward on her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting him lay his face against her breast. With a hushed voice, she continued, “As long as I am now the only one warming your bed. Besides, it’s not like I was completely innocent before being with you. I can lay no blame. I’ll admit to being a little jealous, but—”

“I’ve only ever made love to you.” He looked straight up at her with shining eyes. “Before it was fucking, copulation. A rite I had to perform. Now, with you, it’s like healing my soul with every kiss, every moan, every time I spill myself into you.” 

Ben gave her a gentle pull and her lips met his. He kissed her as if he was trying to prove his devotion, as if he was trying to erase the shame he felt with lips and tongue and hands that pulled her closer to him and into his lap again. 

“She can’t wait to meet you,” Ben mumbled against her mouth. 

Rey let out a laugh as she pulled away a little, “She knows about me? Like, more than you just have a female companion who will need to share your bed?”

“She’s known for a long time.” His fingers stroked through her hair, pulling her tresses back off her face. “After I met you and our bond tied us together, Snoke sensed my compassion for you had only grown. The dissatisfaction and disgust for my feelings for you was tangible in my punishment.” This time, Ben was careful to not let memories slip, but Rey didn’t need to see clips of his torture to know it had been excruciating. “After which, still sensing my conflict, he sent me to the brothels to ‘get it out of my system’. Sarsara sensed immediately and took me aside. And I just opened up to her. I told her about you. Of the connection I felt, how I thought I’d been dreaming of you. How I desired you, and how it confused me. She helped me realize that you just might be my other half, the partner I had been missing.”

Rey felt her heart swell. “See, if you just would have said  _ that _ in the throne room—“

“I shouldn’t have said anything at all.” Ben growled a little, rolling them so that she lay on her back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbow. He whispered then, as his lips danced over hers, teasing at the corners of her mouth, “I should have just walked up to you, swooped you into my arms, and kissed you as the world burned down around us.” 

Rey grabbed his face, lifting it up. “Did you… that night?” She swallowed hard, trying to force down the bile of jealousy that still twisted her insides. “After meeting me?”

“No,” he spoke softly, shaking his head. Fingers stroked through her hair and traced the freckles on her shoulder. “I couldn’t bear to lie with anyone else after you entered my life.”

She smiled, feeling the envious venom recede. “I wouldn’t blame you if you had—”

A finger at her lips silenced her. “I couldn’t.” He pressed his lips to her ear, grazing the shell of it, “I took myself in hand, thinking about how you moved as you fought me in the snow, instead of fucking some girl I would have just wished and imagined was you.”

He pressed his lips to her neck, arms wrapping her up in his warmth as he settled against her shoulder. They lay in each other’s embrace, not saying a word. The beat of their hearts fell into rhythm with each other with ease, each pulse igniting the cord that strung them together.

That night was filled with dinner in bed and holomovies and just holding each other tight. They both knew how short-lived this little world they had created within four durasteel walls was, and it made each passing moment bittersweet. As the hours rolled into the night, they wrapped themselves up in blankets and arms and let the gentle pulse of their bond lull them both into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone’s well wishes in my baby news! :) I’m hoping to be way done with this by May, but keep a weather eye on my social media for this little _guy’s_ very special name. 
> 
> Also, as always, I LOVE to hear from you all! I'm happy to answer questions or talk about the story! You can most easily find me on the [Twitters](https://twitter.com/auroranoir7)!


End file.
